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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also caused problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems related to internet an what solutions can you suggest?

#internet #information
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Internet
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The Internet
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 changed the
people
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's
behavior
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behaviour
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 of treating
information
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 quicker and wider.
However
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, it is argued that the progress of
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 generates crucial
problems
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, which did not exist until the emergence of
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internet
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the internet
show examples
.
This
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 essay will address some of the
problems
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 caused by
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internet
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the internet
show examples
, and propose solutions.
To begin
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 with, one of the most serious
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problem
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problems
show examples
 is money fraud. As Individuals use
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internet
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the internet
show examples
 to buy something
,
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apply
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 or manage their saving by net banking, the number of individual
information
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 inputted to
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internet
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the internet
show examples
 is dramatically increasing. According to
these trend
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this trend
these trends
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, some criminals began to huck
these
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this information
show examples
information
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 via
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Nevertheless
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, almost all criminals
associating
Wrong verb form
associated
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 with
internet
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 crimes are not captured, it is because of the crime opacity. To solve these situations, The companies, which serve
internet
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service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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,
such
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 as online shopping,
net
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and net
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bunking
Correct your spelling
banking
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, should utilize the technology, especially for managing customers' identity
information
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.
As to some
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Some
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 Japanese banks,
for example
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,
they
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apply
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use "one-stop persuade", which is the function to check identity twice. Another
problem
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 concerns
the
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apply
show examples
addiction
of
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to
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. As the
internet
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 is blending into
people
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's
life
Replace the word
lives
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, the average
time
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 of using
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is much longer than a decade. Some
of
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apply
show examples
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people
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the people
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 using
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internet
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the internet
show examples
, spend their
time
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on
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apply
show examples
only
sleep
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sleeping
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 or doing
internet
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. It means that these
people
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 are almost the addict of
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
For instance
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, in Japan, many
people
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 cannot stop playing
game
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games
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, which
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
internet
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game
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games
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, even if they have
a
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an
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intension
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intention
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 to leave from
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. And
then
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, some of them have the tendency to suicide.
These
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This
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situation
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situations
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 become one of
Japanese
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the Japanese
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 social
problems
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. For
this
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problem
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, governments should make the restriction
to
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apply
show examples
the
time
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 of using
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, especially
children
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for children
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, who cannot control their
mind
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minds
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. I believe these
restriction
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restrictions
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 have the big possibility to suppress
this
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problem
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 even if the target is only children. In conclusion, to solve these
internet
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problems
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,
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the company
a company
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company
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companies
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 should take care of treating
information
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.
In addition
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, governments should restrict the
time
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of
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
Submitted by t.watpot216 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybersecurity
  • phishing
  • identity theft
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • social isolation
  • internet addiction
  • data privacy
  • digital literacy
  • regulations
  • awareness programs
  • manipulate
  • proliferation
  • consent
  • escalated
What to do next:
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