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Band 6.5

the internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also caused problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems related to internet an what solutions can you suggest?

#internet #information
Internet
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The Internet
show examples
 changed the
people
's
behavior
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behaviour
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 of treating
information
 quicker and wider.
However
, it is argued that the progress of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 generates crucial
problems
, which did not exist until the emergence of
internet
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the internet
show examples
.
This
 essay will address some of the
problems
 caused by
internet
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the internet
show examples
, and propose solutions.
To begin
 with, one of the most serious
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 is money fraud. As Individuals use
internet
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the internet
show examples
 to buy something
,
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apply
show examples
 or manage their saving by net banking, the number of individual
information
 inputted to
internet
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the internet
show examples
 is dramatically increasing. According to
these trend
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this trend
these trends
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, some criminals began to huck
these
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this information
show examples
information
 via
internet
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the internet
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, almost all criminals
associating
Wrong verb form
associated
show examples
 with
internet
 crimes are not captured, it is because of the crime opacity. To solve these situations, The companies, which serve
internet
service
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services
show examples
,
such
 as online shopping,
net
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and net
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bunking
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banking
show examples
, should utilize the technology, especially for managing customers' identity
information
.
As to some
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Some
show examples
 Japanese banks,
for example
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
use "one-stop persuade", which is the function to check identity twice. Another
problem
 concerns
the
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apply
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addiction
of
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to
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internet
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the internet
show examples
. As the
internet
 is blending into
people
's
life
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lives
show examples
, the average
time
 of using
internet
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the internet
show examples
 is much longer than a decade. Some
of
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apply
show examples
people
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the people
show examples
 using
internet
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the internet
show examples
, spend their
time
on
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apply
show examples
only
sleep
Replace the word
sleeping
show examples
 or doing
internet
. It means that these
people
 are almost the addict of
internet
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the internet
show examples
.
For instance
, in Japan, many
people
 cannot stop playing
game
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games
show examples
, which
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
internet
game
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games
show examples
, even if they have
a
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an
show examples
intension
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intention
show examples
 to leave from
internet
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the internet
show examples
. And
then
, some of them have the tendency to suicide.
These
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This
show examples
situation
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situations
show examples
 become one of
Japanese
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the Japanese
show examples
 social
problems
. For
this
problem
, governments should make the restriction
to
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apply
show examples
the
time
 of using
internet
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the internet
show examples
, especially
children
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for children
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, who cannot control their
mind
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minds
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. I believe these
restriction
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restrictions
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 have the big possibility to suppress
this
problem
 even if the target is only children. In conclusion, to solve these
internet
problems
,
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the company
a company
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company
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companies
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 should take care of treating
information
.
In addition
, governments should restrict the
time
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
Submitted by t.watpot216 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybersecurity
  • phishing
  • identity theft
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • social isolation
  • internet addiction
  • data privacy
  • digital literacy
  • regulations
  • awareness programs
  • manipulate
  • proliferation
  • consent
  • escalated
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