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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other groups.What are the causes for this problem and what can be done to solve this?

#countries #crime #rates #teenagers #groups
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It is undeniable that teenagers tend to commit crimes more than any other age group, and some sort of action to prevent it is required. In my view, the tech trend is causing
this
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 problem, and by restricting it and by giving more opportunities for them to interact in person, we can save them from being a criminal.
Firstly
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, digitalization is the main cause of students committing crimes. Over the past decade, technology
such
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 as smartphones and the internet were invented rapidly. While it enabled our life easier in some ways, it reduced our in-person communication dramatically.
For instance
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,
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the
a
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social network is actively used by the young generation, and it is causing some sort of disease
such
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 as
depression
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. Researchers stated that the more you spend
time
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 on social networks, the more likely you get
depression
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.
As a result
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, those students destress by committing some sort of violation. To decrease misconduct by teenagers, it is important to reduce daily exposure to SNS
,
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 and increase in-person interaction. To achieve
this
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, it is important for those SNS software companies to enhance a feature to limit daily usage of those applications so that we can avoid children spending too much
time
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 on social media.
Moreover
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, parents should make
time
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 to spend with their kids so that they will reduce the
time
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 to spend online. By implementing these two actions, the chance of kids getting
depression
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 can be decreased dramatically, simultaneously with their crime rate. Overall, the recent trend of teenage crime is mainly caused by
depression
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 which is caused by a reduction in physical interaction. We can solve
this
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 problem by minimizing their
time
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 to spend online and
instead
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 maximizing it to spend with their family.
Submitted by Sola on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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