Some people say that if old people spend time and get with others and exercise everyday ,they will become fit. However, nowadays old people are usually alone and do not talk to others which make them unhappy and unfit. What are the problems and the solutions

In general, it is advised to spend
generous
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a generous
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amount of time with loved ones and
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
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routinely in order to have a healthy lifestyle
however
, older generations have been seen to find it difficult to incorporate these habits
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
their lifestyle.
This
essay intends to discuss the problems associated with
this
and provide
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
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solutions to mitigate
this
problem.
Older
Correct article usage
The older
show examples
generation
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
it difficult to maintain
constant
Add an article
a constant
show examples
relationship with
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
ones because they need constant care and attention
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
,
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
generation is occupied with their own jobs or studies and could not provide constant attention.
Therefore
, older
people
are left in isolation which
further
deteriorates their condition. In order to comply with
these stressful environment
Change the determiner
this stressful environment
these stressful environments
show examples
one must join groups and meet
people
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
their own age in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
society where they can spend quality time.
For instance
, positive results have been seen in the conditions of elderly
people
who collectively do yoga and group exercises thereby, supporting their mental and physical
wellbeing
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well-being
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. In later stages of life, some
people
gets
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get
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affected by chronic diseases or mental illness,
Correct word choice
and finds
show examples
finds
Correct subject-verb agreement
find
show examples
it difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle due to negativity in their life. In older
ages
Add a comma
,ages
show examples
people
become more susceptible to negative emotions and tend to keep themselves more isolated which can create problematic situations for their mental as well as physical health.
However
, in these
situations
Add a comma
,situations
show examples
their children play a pivotal role and can act as a support system to fight against negative situations.
Moreover
, elder
people
must not hesitate to share their problems with others which will help them to relieve their stress and anxiety.
Secondly
, there should be special events to support
elder
Correct article usage
the elder
show examples
generations
Change noun form
generations'
generation's
show examples
physical health, where they can join and perform mild physical activities like yoga to keep themselves engaged. To conclude, while, elder
people
find it difficult to support themselves, it becomes the moral responsibility of
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation to take good care of them like they have been cared
by
Change preposition
for by
show examples
their parents.
Submitted by jaspreetramgarhia901 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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