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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
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These days, public debate has been going on in some countries over whether youngsters should be encouraged to have a
gap
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year
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 in order to do something that they would like to before they continue to have
further
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 education. From my perspective, I completely agree that counties should encourage people to have a
gap
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year
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. I will analyse both sides of their thoughts in detail in the following essay. Some folk tend to think that
students
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 would be able to have better performance in communicating with other
students
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 and professors if they use the
gap
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year
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 to work. As far as I am concerned,
this
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 perspective may be based on the consideration that working in the
gap
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year
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 could enable
students
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 to obtain experience regarding how to communicate with others. It is reasonable due to the fact that most jobs in our society now require employees to collaborate together.
As a result
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, people working in a team must have excellent cooperating skills. Another argument that can be used to support their belief is that travelling in the
gap
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year
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 could broaden
students
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' horizons.
Therefore
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, after they return to universities, travelling experiences would let them focus on the knowledge
that is
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 essential for them. On the other side of the debate though, many individuals argue that
gap
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year
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 may have a negative effect on
students
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.
Firstly
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,
students
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 may copy some kinds of negative behaviours in society regarding smoking, alcohol and so on, which will damage their health.
Moreover
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, some may abandon opportunities with
further
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 education after they find that they can earn money and buy anything they desire.
However
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, compared with the disadvantages of a
gap
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year
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, its advantages outweigh the drawbacks. In conclusion, young people should take advantage of a
gap
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year
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 to work or travel in order to study passionately after back to school.
Submitted by sxl1943 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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