IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that governments should invest more in public transportation instead of improving roads for private vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The importance of utilisation of government expenditure which was always debatable, has now become more controversial with many people claiming that the money should be spent on public transportation
while
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 others believe it should be utilized on improving roads for private commuters. In my opinion, there should be an appropriate balance of
the
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apply
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spending on both practices. Analyzing the statement and moving
further
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, the first and foremost reason behind the investment in public transportation is that the technological advancements in public conveyance
such
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 as instalments of ventilation systems, spacious seats, and modern infrastructure, contribute to attracting a large number of people to commute on public vehicles over own one's, which ultimately reduces the pollution at a large pace. Another striking benefit with regard to
this
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 is that the degradation of private vehicles on roads will
consequently
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 decrease traffic congestion and make the services of public
buses
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 faster and more reliable. Moving
further
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, it cannot be ignored that spending on manufacturing more
buses
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 will help to save the time of commuters, without having a long wait.
Conversely
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, proving ahead the main reason stems from the fact that serving the unprivileged areas where routes of
buses
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 are inappropriate, hardens for the local people to travel through public transport.
Therefore
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 they tend to travel by their own vehicles to escape from the problem of long-wait at bus stations and the inaccessibility of
buses
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 with highways, and go-stations. Ergo, the local government should prioritise these areas to recover roads for their convenience. It is pertinent to mention that road improvements, including, a widen- lanes, fast lanes, road- lights,
and
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straight surfaces, etc. will not only enhance the beauty of the city but
also
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 lessen accidents. Apart from the reasons mentioned above, many are in favour of spending the highest amount of money on public transportation.
To conclude
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, after analyzing the aforementioned arguments one can reach the conclusion that
although
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 public transport provides more benefits if money should be spent on it, there should be a wise strategy towards allocation of funds to both options

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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to clearly present your stance on the issue at the beginning. A more definitive position can help guide your arguments and make your essay stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea of that section. This can help improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to support your main points. This would enhance your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging both sides of the argument, which is a strong approach.
coherence and cohesion
The use of sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures adds to the overall quality of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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