some people prefer to have temporary jobs,which means they only work a few month in year and use the rest of the time to do why want what is your opinion.

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
more and more
people
Use synonyms
are focused on their desires so they choose
temprorary
Correct your spelling
temporary
jobs.
This
Linking Words
type of
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
spends only several months on work per year and
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
the rest of the
time
Use synonyms
to do what they want. On the one hand, it is an
insame
Correct your spelling
insane
in same
idea because
this
Linking Words
attitude has bag effect on our career and self-realization. The only way to reach high goals is by working hard so spending a big part of the year on
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
is destroying factor.
For example
Linking Words
, famous and successful
people
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as Elon Musk are working long hours to be successful. Success is always about hard
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
highly
Add an article
a highly
show examples
viral example because many
people
Use synonyms
are dreaming about
this
Linking Words
lifestyle so our society will suffer from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
massive crisis if a big part of
people
Use synonyms
decide
Change the verb form
decides
show examples
to spend more
time
Use synonyms
on
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, our society will become much happier if it happens because
leisure
Use synonyms
activities make us happy so the level of stress will decrease. In order to
that
Add a missing verb
do that
show examples
the number of illnesses which are connected with stressful
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
will
also
Linking Words
decrease so
people
Use synonyms
will become healthier.
For instance
Linking Words
, illnesses
such
Linking Words
as cancer will take
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
lives because the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
it will decrease.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
might find their passion which is really important to have. More individuals will connect their job with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
passion so it should
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
the number of individuals
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are satisfied with their job. To sum up, in my opinion taking more
time
Use synonyms
on
leisure
Use synonyms
activities has more advantages than disadvantages because free
time
Use synonyms
activities make us happier and
also
Linking Words
help us to find our passion.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

What to do next:
Look at other essays: