Some people think that money is one of the most important factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is commonly believed that
money
Use synonyms
is one of the most significant factors in enhancing
happiness
Use synonyms
and joy.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
concept. I do not think that
money
Use synonyms
can determine your
happiness
Use synonyms
level and
people
Use synonyms
can easily find alternatives for
money
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
of all,
although
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
is important in life and it could possibly lead to upgrading and improving your standard of living by buying whatever you wish,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, it does not determine your
happiness
Use synonyms
. In fact, a lot of rich
people
Use synonyms
are suffering from dangerous diseases, despite all the
money
Use synonyms
, the cure has not been found yet,
therefore
Linking Words
, they do not have the time to enjoy that
money
Use synonyms
. For another example, perhaps some
people
Use synonyms
who live on a high standard of living and
money
Use synonyms
does not constitute an issue for them, they do not have the opportunity to share
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
with someone, and they are basically struggling with loneliness, what is exactly the purpose of having
money
Use synonyms
if you are lonely? Despite all the merits of being rich, you can easily find other factors that contribute towards
happiness
Use synonyms
. There is no
such
Linking Words
thing compared to being safe and secure, it is
also
Linking Words
necessary to be surrounded by
people
Use synonyms
who care about you and someone you actually enjoy spending time with.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, being totally and completely healthy is one of the reasons that bring joy and we should always be thankful for that. In conclusion, In my opinion, I think
people
Use synonyms
are the most responsible for creating a joyful and happy atmosphere, life is great, but it depends on how you look at it, you should always check the positive aspect in order to feel pleasure.
Submitted by Layanosama on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Promoting happiness
  • Essential factors
  • Financial stability
  • Material wealth
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Contentment
  • Basic needs
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs
  • Social connections
  • Pursuing passions
  • Well-being
  • Mental health
  • Spiritual practices
  • Personal growth
  • Community service
  • Societal contribution
  • Philanthropy
  • Joy
  • Satisfaction
  • Prosperity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: