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Band 4

Some people believe that the intemet is increasing the gap between the rich and poor, while others argue that it helps to reduce this gap. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #intemet #gap
These days
people
 can not live without
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, it is a massive industry.
Network
Add an article
The network
A network
show examples
 can be used for so many purposes, it
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 to communicate, to play, to work and so many other reasons. It is argued that if
gap
Add an article
the gap
show examples
 between
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
 and
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
show examples
 will increase or it will narrow as a response to the
internet
 prevalence. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 the
gab
Correct your spelling
gap
show examples
 will increase as poor
people
 cannot use
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. Those who do not have enough money to buy phones or computers will not be able to communicate with others and
also
 they will stay separated from the world as they are just close to their community.
However
, using
Correct article usage
a network
show examples
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 nowadays is no more
consider
Change the form of the verb
considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a luxury thing it should be for everyone because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily tasks these days are largely depending on using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. So those who don’t have the access to the network or do not have the cost of it will suffer
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
. The
gab
Correct your spelling
gap
show examples
 between those who can use the
internet
 and who doesn’t will be for sure huge.
Although
 having at least
smartphone
Correct article usage
a smartphone
show examples
 is not
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 difficult in recent years as there are so many different types with low prices, still there are some poor
people
 who can,t provide enough money to buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
. For those
people
 communication, seeing the news and even learning will be much
difficult
Correct quantifier usage
more difficult
show examples
 as the
intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
show examples
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
internet
based
Add a missing verb
is based
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 on is facilitating the life of rich
people
 clearly and it reduced the time to do any task.
Therefore
 they can get any information or data
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 need in lesser time, they will
also
 have more business opportunities and so on. To conclude, I think any individual who can’t use
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be at a low level in everything and he will stay away from other
people
 as he doesn’t have
very
Add an article
a very
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 important mediator. But they actually can live a good life. But compared to
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
show examples
 there will be
Correct article usage
a huge
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huge
Change the adjective
hugely
show examples
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
.
Submitted by amar0755.aa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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