Countries should not replace their traditional culture with modern culture . To what extent do you agree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
say that nations must not replace their traditional history with modern
culture
Use synonyms
. Thereby,
this
Linking Words
essay aims to elaborate on the reasons why I partially agree with the aforementioned.
To begin
Linking Words
with, if
countries
Use synonyms
don’t
Use synonyms
change their
culture
Use synonyms
from the past, it is possible to succeed in their business relative to sightseeing tourists.
This
Linking Words
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some
people
Use synonyms
can feel attracted to their own
culture
Use synonyms
according to travel there.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
exist whose target is to touch
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their
culture
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, if they lost their own
culture
Use synonyms
and history, they cannot appeal to their character to tourists, and it wreak havoc on their
finance
Use synonyms
, probably. So it is useful to keep their
culture
Use synonyms
to welcome other nationality
people
Use synonyms
. When it comes to drawbacks, if some counties
don’t
Use synonyms
incorporate other trends, those
countries
Use synonyms
cannot grow and still remain developing
countries
Use synonyms
in the future. So, it has a risk
also
Linking Words
that some nations pursue to protect their own civilization.
For example
Linking Words
, it is often different a trend which compares developed
countries
Use synonyms
to developing
countries
Use synonyms
. Most developing
countries
Use synonyms
don’t
Use synonyms
have high technology. It affects the country’s
finance
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because, it has the possibility to become a colony for the developed
countries
Use synonyms
because of developed constantly push their skill, possible. So, recently, it is needed to accept for changing
culture
Use synonyms
to protect their
finance
Use synonyms
. If they cannot protect their
finance
Use synonyms
, their currency value will decrease
such
Linking Words
as in Japan. In conclusion, I reiterate my view that if
countries
Use synonyms
don’t
Use synonyms
accept other modern cultures, they can succeed in their business, because of their originality.
However
Linking Words
, a risk is
also
Linking Words
included that they cannot keep their own
finance
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by euler0279 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: