Countries should not replace their traditional culture with modern culture . To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#countries #culture

Some

people

say that nations must not replace their traditional history with modern

culture

. Thereby,

this

essay aims to elaborate on the reasons why I partially agree with the aforementioned.

To begin

with, if

countries

don’t

change their

culture

from the past, it is possible to succeed in their business relative to sightseeing tourists.

This

is because

Remove the comma

apply

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some

people

can feel attracted to their own

culture

according to travel there.

Furthermore

, some

people

exist whose target is to touch

Remove the article

apply

show examples

their

culture

However

, if they lost their own

culture

and history, they cannot appeal to their character to tourists, and it wreak havoc on their

finance

, probably. So it is useful to keep their

culture

to welcome other nationality

people

. When it comes to drawbacks, if some counties

don’t

incorporate other trends, those

countries

cannot grow and still remain developing

countries

in the future. So, it has a risk

also

that some nations pursue to protect their own civilization.

For example

, it is often different a trend which compares developed

countries

to developing

countries

. Most developing

countries

don’t

have high technology. It affects the country’s

finance

This

is because, it has the possibility to become a colony for the developed

countries

because of developed constantly push their skill, possible. So, recently, it is needed to accept for changing

culture

to protect their

finance

. If they cannot protect their

finance

, their currency value will decrease

such

as in Japan. In conclusion, I reiterate my view that if

countries

don’t

accept other modern cultures, they can succeed in their business, because of their originality.

However

, a risk is

also

included that they cannot keep their own

finance

Submitted by euler0279 on Fri Jan 13 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Countries should not replace their traditional culture with modern culture . To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to the new buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree? How important are old buildings to us?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways for reducing crime. Discuss both views