IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is believed that passengers will travel inside vehicles including
cars
Use synonyms
, buses and trucks without any drivers.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that the advantages of
this
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 outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will first
demostrate
Correct your spelling
demonstrate
 that the level of punctuality will rise
whereas
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 we would not be worried about air pollution caused by automobiles, followed by an analysis of how the primary disadvantage, possible job loss, is not valid.
To begin
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 with, the more digitalized new
cars
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 are, the less effort we need to control them. Admittedly,
although
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 machines can experience disruptions, they are better than us in calculating and planning and getting more accurate day-to-day, so, we can totally trust them and be absolutely sure to reach the destination on time and in safety.
For instance
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, electronic Tesla
cars
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 created by famous businessman and engineer Elon Musk are provided with
artificial
Correct article usage
an artificial
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 intelligence program using which
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
 do not need to control
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 since it can determine
causing
Correct pronoun usage
what causing
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 accidents and prevent them by
itselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
Moreover
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, most of
vehicles
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the vehicles
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 which do not need control on them are often electric ones and do not consume oil and petrol. Obviously, the streets of megacities are always full of
transports
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transport
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 and the sky is covered with clouds containing carbon
dyoxide
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dioxide
.
Thus
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, electric
cars
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 are completely not capable of polluting the air and
harmless
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are harmless
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 to
environment
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the environment
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. Those opposed to
this
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 say that many drivers might lose their jobs and not
to
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apply
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ensure their families.
However
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, there is no actual evidence to support
this
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 view and
chauffers
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chauffeurs
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 are often people with degrees.
For example
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, my taxi driver is a man who works as
librarian
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a librarian
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 in a local library and working as a taxi is only his part-time job. In conclusion, the fact that in the future there will be vehicles without
chauffers
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chauffeurs
show examples
 and there will be only passengers in
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 leads to positive effects on our nature and the easier life clearly outweighs the flawed argument that it can cause job loss.

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coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down longer sentences into shorter ones to enhance readability and clarity. It's important to maintain control over sentence structure to ensure the reader can follow your argument easily.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed analysis or elaboration on your points. For instance, while mentioning specific examples like Tesla, further discussion on how exactly they are successful or areas they might struggle could add depth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to clarify points where needed, as some sentences might present unclear or awkward phrasing. Rephrasing such segments can enhance understanding.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to show language proficiency. Vary your expressions to avoid repetition and demonstrate flexibility in English usage.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main arguments effectively.
task achievement
Good attempt to provide examples, such as the mention of Tesla cars, illustrating points on technology and pollution.
coherence cohesion
Logical flow of ideas, as the essay maintains a structured argument about the positive impacts of driverless vehicles.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
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