For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #reason #work #money

Earning more

money

one

of the best

motivotators

Correct your spelling

motivators

motivator

work

harder in

this

hectic life. While I agree that it helps

people

meet

the

Change the word

their

show examples

basic needs. I

also

believe that there are other crucial factors to

work

hard. On the

one

hand, the main

reason

for working hard is to be equal with others . In

this

competitive world,

people

do not want to lag

from

Change preposition

behind

show examples

their peers in terms of consumer goods since the majority of

people

judge by seeing

one

's wealth. So

people

work

harder to buy

Add an article

a home

the home

show examples

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

and luxurious cars for being looked wealthy and

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

equal in society.

Moreover

, meeting

one

's social needs

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

very crucial. It is undeniable that buying brand clothes and a range of products

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

a sufficient amount of

money

. If

people

do not

work

hard, they can not afford their daily necessities. As the prices

Change the verb form

are

show examples

going up day by day. Despite the reasons mentioned above, I

also

believe there are other important factors for several reasons.

One

major

reason

for working hard is that

people

want to keep their

job

position. In

this

competitive era, a lot of young

people

who are

well educated

Add a hyphen

well-educated

show examples

and versatile are searching for new

job

positions, which in turn, leads to high competitiveness for jobs. For

this

reason

people

do try to

work

hard in order not to get fired because of their huge number of counterparts who are waiting for available

job

positions. Another

reason

why

people

work

hard other than earning more

money

is that they want to contribute to

prosperity

Add an article

the prosperity

show examples

of their countries. When these hardworking employers do their best, it may help the whole society flourish. Take doctors as an example, if

patient

Add an article

the patient

a patient

show examples

is struggling with his or her life,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

doctors may save these

patient's

Fix the agreement mistake

patients'

show examples

lives so these

survived

Wrong verb form

surviving

show examples

ones may bring so much benefit to society by continuing their jobs. In conclusion, while working hard for more

money

may lead to a good lifestyle, I believe that it is

also

due to preventing from getting fired because of high

job

competitiveness.

Submitted by behnam.n00001 on Fri Jan 13 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial stability
necessities
monetary rewards
quality of life
luxury items
dependents
responsibility
pursue
personal interests
cultural pressures
wealth accumulation
fulfillment
visible measure
correlate
secure future
comfortable lifestyle
entertainment

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For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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The world is changing rapidly, working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the causes for the changes and give suggestions how people should prepare for work in the future.

In many countries, the number of obese children is increasing rapidly, and many people believe that the government is responsible for this alarming problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?