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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A considerable number of
people
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 think that free
time
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 activities for
children
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 ought to be managed by
parents
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,
while
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 others believe that
children
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 have the complete
freedom
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 to choose what they do in their free
time
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. In my opinion, I completely agree that free
time
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 activities should be organized by
parents
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. On the one hand, many
people
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 say that
parents
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 ought to manage their
children
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's free
time
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 and I agree.
In other words
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, giving the
children
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 the
freedom
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 to choose what they want to do may put them at a really huge risk to their safety.If some
children
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 choose to play on the street without telling their
parents
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,
for example
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, they might meet some
people
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 who are older than them and they may use the
children
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 for their own benefit.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 should manage what
children
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 do in their free
time
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 to avoid any possible danger.
Furthermore
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. when the
children
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's free
time
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 activities are managed by older
people
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 who can help the
children
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 in their school.
For instance
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,
parents
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 can create a knowledge game for the
children
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 and that can improve their brain.
On the other hand
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,it is thought that young
people
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 should have the
freedom
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 to choose what they do in their leisure.To explain
further
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, when
children
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 do whatever they want in their free
time
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 they can practise their favourite sports and they can enhance their performance as there is no one forcing them to do that.
Moreover
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, giving
children
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 the
freedom
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 to choose what they do in their leisure can highly develop their social skills.
To sum up
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,
people
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 may vary in their opinion.
However
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, I believe that
children
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 have a better chance to succeed in life if their
parents
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 organise their leisure.

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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay responds fully to all parts of the question. Provide a balanced discussion of both views and your own opinion. Strictly adhere to discussing the implications and reasons behind each view before stating your stance.
Task Achievement
Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by expanding on your examples and explaining how they support your argument. Consider using more varied and complex sentence structures to articulate your points more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use a wider range of linking phrases and topic sentences to clearly signal the structure of your essay and the transition between paragraphs and ideas. Focus on creating a seamless flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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