IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people prefer to go to gym and clubs for health care other say that walking and jumping stairs are more affective. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
Use synonyms
 compare going to
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
 and clubs with walking and jumping
stairs
Use synonyms
. It has been one of the most controversial debates. They're both recommended for health care but their goals aren't identical. It's important to know the reason the person wants to work out.
First
Linking Words
, going to the gym and clubs are beneficial for those who want to develop their muscles. Being muscular is a continuous work of resisting gravity. In daily life,
people
Use synonyms
 unconsciously support their bodies with muscles. But it's unavoidable to exercise with more than one's own
weight
Use synonyms
 to have a muscular
body
Use synonyms
. There are many sporting goods in gyms to give extra
weight
Use synonyms
 to your
body
Use synonyms
. They will help
people
Use synonyms
 be more muscular than exercising with one's own
weight
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, there are professional trainers. They help
people
Use synonyms
 not get injured and find the most efficient method to achieve their target
body
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, walking and jumping
stairs
Use synonyms
 are good for those who are unwilling to spend much time and money.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they're easier to access.
People
Use synonyms
 just need to find
stairs
Use synonyms
 near apartments or buildings. Even though it won't make your
body
Use synonyms
 as muscular but it can effectively improve the respiration system. There is no worry of getting injured too. For beginners, going to gyms and doing what they aren't used to doing could result in injuries. In conclusion, if the target of a workout is to lose
weight
Use synonyms
, it's to start with
stairs
Use synonyms
. If it's to develop your muscle, it's better to go to the gym and clubs, supporting more
weight
Use synonyms
 than your own
body
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: