Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, the obesity rate in South Korea has been increasing according to many statistics. The media started talking about what the
government
's role is to lower
people
's
sugar
consumption. Some activists even spoke in public that the national authorities should legislate against the increasing amount of
sugar
intake in order to handle the situation. There are
people
who are against the
government
's intervention, saying that it's a misusing the power of the
government
. They assert that what kind of foods they will eat should be chosen by themselves.
However
, it's said by many communities that the individual's responsibility is limited so the
government
needs to take an action to
change
the system of
society
. With the increasing number of fast food chains and the lifestyle of recent decades, it has been unavoidable for the public to have a distance from excessive amounts of
sugar
.
Hence
, it's necessary to
change
society
through the
government
instead
of speaking to an individual to take responsibility.
Furthermore
, some
people
insisted that the
tax
on
sugar
is inevitable to improve the current situation. It is important for citizens to have the right to choose what they want. Meanwhile, it's
also
the
government
's role to handle undesirable situations.
Hence
, the
government
must choose an indirect way to guide
people
to good diets.
For example
, they can charge a
sugar
tax
so
people
would choose healthier meals
instead
of sugary ones. By doing so,
people
will unconsciously decrease
sugar
consumption. There can be an argument that
this
tax
is for poor
people
.
However
, the
government
can reinvest the
tax
income to lower the
tax
rate for healthier meals. In conclusion, the
government
should take action to
change
society
,
instead
of letting
people
choose what they want to eat, not considering the
change
in
society
.
Submitted by seongminkr7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmful
  • government intervention
  • policies and regulations
  • public health
  • individual responsibility
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • freedom of choice
  • balanced approach
  • food industry
  • sugar content
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • health problems
  • taxation
  • advertising restrictions
  • labeling requirements
  • reading food labels
  • natural sweeteners
  • cooking at home
  • moderation
  • balanced diets
What to do next:
Look at other essays: