IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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According to some
people
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, wild
animals
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 should not be kept in
zoos
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, as we distract them to live peacefully and they are always in public.
However
Linking Words
, others think that it would be better if
animals
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 are kept in
zoos
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 because they can help to save them from poachers. The
first
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 idea will be supported, we should not keep
animals
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 in
zoos
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, as they lose their purpose in
life
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. Admittedly,
animals
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 should keep in
zoos
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, especially which are in a red book. In most cases, poachers hunt
animals
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 for fun or money. In the zoo, they are more protected from poachers and they do not need to survive in the terrible condition of the weather.
For example
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, herbivores can be saved from predators.
In other words
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, the zoo is safer than their habitats. Yet, wild
animals
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 do not get used to living in loud places. The predators try not to make a noise which can afraid their victims as well as herbivores afraid of any noise because predators can sneak up. The most of visitors to
zoos
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 are children. They do a lot of noise which obstructs the
animals
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, so
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals
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, it is difficult to live in
zoos
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 while some distract. I believe wild
animals
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 must live in their natural habitats
such
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 as forests and mountains.
People
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 do
animals
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'
life
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 boring by keeping them in
zoos
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.
Animals
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such
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 as
people
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, do not like when someone locks them in an iron cage, depriving them of freedom and the meaning of their
life
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.
People
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 feed them every day, but wild
animals
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'
life
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 meaning consists of getting food and offspring, so
people
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 deprive one of the most interesting parts of their activities.
In other words
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, by keeping
animals
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 in
zoos
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, wild
animals
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 forget how to hunt. In conclusion, despite the safe
life
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 in the
zoos
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, I support the decision in terms of wild
animals
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need
Wrong verb form
needing
show examples
 to live in their natural habitat, because they lose their natural ability.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
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