IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time #outweigh
As technology dramatically ameliorated, an opinion emerges that it has a destructive impact on inexperienced people to embrace technological devices everywhere. It is my firm view that the benefits of using the Internet surpass its drawbacks. To be specific,
this
 essay will discuss both sides of the vision in subsequent paragraphs why the disadvantages overwhelm the pros. On the one hand, it is commonly believed that as the wireless network
also
 develops, children feel that mobile phones are an integral part of life.
Therefore
, they are able to access their smartphones wherever they are. At the moment, according to researchers, our brain has to deal with 74 GB of data every day in 2022. In
such
 a complex and intricate environment, it is necessary to filter and process these inputs that come to us and extract meaningful outputs.
Otherwise
, it might cause to be confused and
overburdened
Replace the word
overburden
show examples
.
Secondly
, the lack of practices of communication with new people may be another drawback in terms of socializing. What I want to say is that it is likely to result in unfriendliness or even isolation from society.
On the other hand
, it is
also
 beneficial for students to accept new skills and information as
such
 an action boosts technology literacy. To benefit from computers in a productive way and prevent any potential trouble, it is highly advisable that youngsters do not waste their spare time browsing useless websites. One clear instance is that being accessible to impart knowledge to someone via the Internet is the best method to acquire profound learning as well.
Hence
, it is a great opportunity for them to upgrade themselves to powerful one by nurturing their curiosity and interest in the learning process.
Furthermore
, being provided with novel tools for younger people make it possible to absorb anything that they need and enhance their expertise. In conclusion, despite some minor problems associated with using advanced gadgets, I believe that the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by malikli.malik1995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • new technologies
  • children
  • free time
  • access
  • educational resources
  • information
  • development
  • key skills
  • enhancing
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • opportunity
  • connect
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • lack
  • physical activity
  • potential
  • health issues
  • impact
  • social
  • emotional development
  • exposure
  • inappropriate content
  • addiction
  • dependency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: