Countries should not replace their traditional culture with modern culture . To what extent do you agree with this statement?

There is an accelerating integration of society around the world today.

Consequently

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, these current changes allow one county gains negligible effects from another in daily life. Some

people

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worry that

these prevalence

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this prevalence

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of modern

cultures

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causes threats of the extinction of some unique traditional ones in the future. I strongly support the prosperity of different

cultures

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and they should not be taken place by others. On one hand, it is undeniable fact that globalization spreads at a fast speed in modern society and that minor

cultures

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are gradually replaced by major ones. With respect to language, ethnic tongues are dying out since more

people

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shift to speaking common international languages

such

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as English, Spanish and Chinese.

As a result

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this

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will lead to international communication being conducted more smoothly, reducing the risks of misunderstanding in discussing global issues.

In other words

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, the integration of languages is advantageous to maintain an intimate relationship.

Therefore

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, minor

cultures

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should be replaced by dominant ones.

On the other hand

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, the disappearance of traditional

cultures

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should be prevented to protect their diversity. One of the entertainments of travelling to another nation is enjoying different kinds of traditional cuisines.

For example

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, Japanese food like miso soup and sushi , which are based on organic vegetables and fresh fish, are famous for their highly nutritious values. In fact,

such

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traditional meals are the very key to the longevity of Japanese

people

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. In spite of the growing popularity of bread and instant foods in the modern world, the importance of

such

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traditional food should be maintained carefully. In conclusion, the fact that

people

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seek more convenience in life is likely to result in the extinction of less common tongues in the current society.

However

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this

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current trend should be avoided to protect the diversity and beauty of different

cultures

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mizuho_kondo117

Jan 13, 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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