Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
In today's society where
we
live, Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
is
Change the verb form
are
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
Change preposition
on wokring
wokring
long hours in order to have more Correct your spelling
working
money
to spend in
things they like and enjoy. There are a number of advantages and Change preposition
on
disvantages
related to Correct your spelling
disadvantages
this
issue that I will explain now.
On the one hand, today we have access to a series of opportunities that makes us happy. For example
, buying new cars, going for dinners to
nice restaurants and taking holidays to beautiful places to Change preposition
at
mentioned
some of them. Change the form of the verb
mention
Moreover
, money
can make us feel secure with aspects in
our Change preposition
of
live
that we consider essential. Replace the word
lives
For instance
, when medical insurance or morgages
has to be paid, Correct your spelling
mortgages
mortgage
money
allows us to cover the cost of our obligations and that contribute
to our happiness.
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
On the other hand
, with the objetive
of making Correct your spelling
objective
money
, some people
forget about a very important aspect of life which is time
. Work obligations comsume
most Correct your spelling
consume
the
Change preposition
of the
time
and human beings do not realize how important is Fix the infinitive
to spend
spend
Change the form of the verb
spending
time
with the people
we loved. Moreover
, time
is something that money
can not buy. In addition
, if people
realized how valuable is time
, it
would not be so focused Correct pronoun usage
they
in
making Change preposition
on
money
and they invest their energy and attention with friends and family. Another aspect to consider is the fact that spending time
alone is essential too. For instance
, going to yoga or for a massage and looking after our persona it
is something that Correct pronoun usage
apply
It
would give us more pleasure and benefits than Correct pronoun usage
apply
money
.
In conclusion, I believe that we have to dedicate ourselft
Correct your spelling
yourself
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
time
to share with our loved ones and to look after our personal desires,
because at the end of the day, we can spend Remove the comma
apply
bit
part of our life making Correct article usage
a bit
money
but we will not have
enjoy Add the particle
tohave
enougt
experiences and pleasures with the Correct your spelling
enough
people
we really love.Submitted by nildastefanini80 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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