Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation

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In today's society where

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

live,

people

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

focus

Wrong verb form

focused

show examples

Change preposition

on wokring

show examples

wokring

Correct your spelling

working

long hours in order to have more

money

Use synonyms

to spend

Change preposition

show examples

things they like and enjoy. There are a number of advantages and

disvantages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

related to

this

Linking Words

issue that I will explain now. On the one hand, today we have access to a series of opportunities that makes us happy.

For example

Linking Words

, buying new cars, going for dinners

Change preposition

show examples

nice restaurants and taking holidays to beautiful places to

mentioned

Change the form of the verb

mention

show examples

some of them.

Moreover

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

can make us feel secure with aspects

Change preposition

show examples

our

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

that we consider essential.

For instance

Linking Words

, when medical insurance or

morgages

Correct your spelling

mortgages

mortgage

has to be paid,

money

Use synonyms

allows us to cover the cost of our obligations and that

contribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

contributes

show examples

to our happiness.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, with the

objetive

Correct your spelling

objective

of making

money

Use synonyms

, some

people

Use synonyms

forget about a very important aspect of life which is

time

Use synonyms

. Work obligations

comsume

Correct your spelling

consume

most

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

time

Use synonyms

and human beings do not realize how important is

Fix the infinitive

to spend

show examples

spend

Change the form of the verb

spending

show examples

time

Use synonyms

with the

people

Use synonyms

we loved.

Moreover

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

is something that

money

Use synonyms

can not buy.

In addition

Linking Words

, if

people

Use synonyms

realized how valuable is

time

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

would not be so focused

Change preposition

show examples

making

money

Use synonyms

and they invest their energy and attention with friends and family. Another aspect to consider is the fact that spending

time

Use synonyms

alone is essential too.

For instance

Linking Words

, going to yoga or for a massage and looking after our persona

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is something that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would give us more pleasure and benefits than

money

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, I believe that we have to dedicate

ourselft

Correct your spelling

yourself

enought

Correct your spelling

enough

time

Use synonyms

to share with our loved ones and to look after our personal desires

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because at the end of the day, we can spend

bit

Correct article usage

a bit

show examples

part of our life making

money

Use synonyms

but we will not

have

Add the particle

tohave

show examples

enjoy

enougt

Correct your spelling

enough

experiences and pleasures with the

people

Use synonyms

we really love.

Submitted by nildastefanini80 on Fri Jan 13 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
mental well-being
burnout
stress relief
productivity
economic growth
career progression
skill enhancement
quality time
financial security
leisure activities
physical health
personal relationships
stress-related illnesses

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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, parents prefer to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

Some scientists think that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and messages should be sent to contact them. Other scientists think that this is a bad idea and would be dangerous. Discuss both view points and give your opinion.

Some people think that one should plan detailed activities for their leisure time, while others disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion