Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

In today's society where
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
live,
people
is
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are
show examples
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
Change preposition
on wokring
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wokring
Correct your spelling
working
long hours in order to have more
money
to spend
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
things they like and enjoy. There are a number of advantages and
disvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
related to
this
issue that I will explain now. On the one hand, today we have access to a series of opportunities that makes us happy.
For example
, buying new cars, going for dinners
to
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at
show examples
nice restaurants and taking holidays to beautiful places to
mentioned
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mention
show examples
some of them.
Moreover
,
money
can make us feel secure with aspects
in
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of
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our
live
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lives
show examples
that we consider essential.
For instance
, when medical insurance or
morgages
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mortgages
mortgage
has to be paid,
money
allows us to cover the cost of our obligations and that
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
to our happiness.
On the other hand
, with the
objetive
Correct your spelling
objective
of making
money
, some
people
forget about a very important aspect of life which is
time
. Work obligations
comsume
Correct your spelling
consume
most
the
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of the
show examples
time
and human beings do not realize how important is
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to spend
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spend
Change the form of the verb
spending
show examples
time
with the
people
we loved.
Moreover
,
time
is something that
money
can not buy.
In addition
, if
people
realized how valuable is
time
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
would not be so focused
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
making
money
and they invest their energy and attention with friends and family. Another aspect to consider is the fact that spending
time
alone is essential too.
For instance
, going to yoga or for a massage and looking after our persona
it
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apply
show examples
is something that
It
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apply
show examples
would give us more pleasure and benefits than
money
. In conclusion, I believe that we have to dedicate
ourselft
Correct your spelling
yourself
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
time
to share with our loved ones and to look after our personal desires
,
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apply
show examples
because at the end of the day, we can spend
bit
Correct article usage
a bit
show examples
part of our life making
money
but we will not
have
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tohave
show examples
enjoy
enougt
Correct your spelling
enough
experiences and pleasures with the
people
we really love.
Submitted by nildastefanini80 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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