IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are using alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their normal doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
At the present, a myriad number of individuals are coping
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
 health diseases with the help of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative
drugs
 rather than going to hospitals for
physion
Correct your spelling
physician
physio
. In my opinion, using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative
drugs
 as a
treatment
 for people is a positive development. To be sure that having
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative
 medicine are being worthwhile for our society as a new way of
treatment
.
In other words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been treating himself or
herself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 with
drugs
 for around 5 years because of its convenience for humans
like
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
when they feel
headache
Correct article usage
a headache
show examples
 or toothache they are able to drink it with water ,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
this
 process of medical care
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 rose at the peak level in
todays
Correct your spelling
today's
 world.
For example
, 89
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
  population of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 has been utilizing
alternative
 medicine as a
treatment
instead
 of visiting their family doctor. There is no doubt that using medicines whenever they want without the permission of physicians may cause more problems , even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
 may arise a new
sickness
Fix the agreement mistake
sicknesses
show examples
 for their health. For some,
this
 would be beneficial to consume
drugs
 when they feel sick
instead
 of visiting
doctors’
Change noun form
doctors
show examples
treatment
Change preposition
for treatment
show examples
, but
this
 process of
treating
Replace the word
treatment
show examples
 can be more dangerous for
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
 life.
Although
this
 kind of
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantageous
show examples
 side of
treatment
,
this
 can be more helpful to reduce the ache of
Add an article
the patient
a patient
show examples
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
 which was shown
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the statistics. To conclude, despite the fact that utilizing replacement
drugs
 has some negative side on the medicine, I feel that it can be much
helpful
Correct quantifier usage
more helpful
show examples
 to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pain more
effiently
Correct your spelling
efficiently
.
Submitted by Premium Version on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: