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Writing Samples /
Band 1

There should be low to control amount and type of violence shown on television programs.

#control #amount #type #violence #television #programs
Nowadays crime is increasing rapidly. It is the responsibility of the
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
 government to create low against violent
television
programs
. I disagree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
 serials and movies
are became
Change the verb form
are becoming
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 most popular
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
newspapers are publishing advertisements
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
programs
 as well
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
time
also
.so children can find these
programs
 on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and
television
 easily and
distract
Wrong verb form
distracted
show examples
 from their goals and culture. Many crimes are done by students. They can get ideas
television
Change preposition
from television
show examples
programs
, websites lot
things
Change preposition
of things
show examples
 that are available on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Secondly
, to control
this
 crime it is the duty of the parents to look
their
Change preposition
at their
show examples
 child what they are watching on social media and
television
 shows.
Submitted by aftabalam4871 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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