IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money
Money
 is often used as a parameter to define happiness in
life
. There is some group of people who argue that in order to be happy in
life
, one needs to have a
lot
 of wealth in
life
. In
this
 essay, how having a
lot
 of
money
 in your pocket means makes people feel joyful and what are the other factors that make
life
 enjoyable. The
first
 and foremost reason how
money
 makes people happy is having a
lot
 of
money
 means you can afford whatever you like, you can buy whatever you like without looking at price tags. To cite an example, Having
money
 in your pocket indicates that you can afford the most expensive car like Tesla and Buy a huge bungalow.
This
 Luxurious lifestyle ultimately brings contentment to
life
.
However
, other factors bring joy to
life
. The most prominent one is Health. Health is everything when comes to enjoyment in
life
. The
person
 suffering from chronic disease cannot happy with a
lot
 of cash, as
money
 can buy medicine but it cannot cure the disease completely.
Therefore
, heath comes
also
 comes
first
 when considering the circumstance that gives cheerfulness to
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 individual.
Secondly
, building strong relationships with near and dear ones makes a
person
 feel happy and valuable. To specify, having someone who can listen to your emotions and feelings, decrease the chances of getting stressed and increases the moments of prosperity in
life
.
Moreover
, achieving the desired goals. When a
person
 accomplishes the goals they decided in
life
,
this
 automatically brings joy to their
life
. In conclusion, there is no doubt Having a
lot
 of
money
 can make a
person
 happy but at the same time, wealth only cannot buy happiness. As it is associated with other factors
such
 as Heath, Relationships and goals.
Submitted by Mandeepd050 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: