some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #phones #case #development

Nowadays, it has been seen that some

children

are using their

phones

more frequently and devoting most of their time to

this

piece of equipment. In

this

essay, I will outline underlying reasons contributing to

this

phenomenon as well as bring some examples providing it is a negative change among

children

. There are some potential causes leading to

children

spending hours on their

phones

First

of all,

this

apparatus provides a plethora of games for the

children

by which they can be entertained. To be more precise, youngsters find it as a leisure pursuit in which they immerse themselves in numerous appealing video games without considering their drawbacks.

Secondly

, it is due to the lack of parental supervision. More accurately, if the parents do not manage and restrict the time of using these technological devices,

children

will continue to indulge themselves in playing since they are not well-trained about the value of time yet. An increasing number of

children

are really addicted to their

phones

these days which will create some irreversible consequences in their life. The

first

and foremost drawback of excessive usage of

phones

children

is that it prevents them from other kinds of activities both recreational and educational ones. What I mean by the recreational factors is that because they are engaged in playing with their

phones

they will lose enthusiasm for outdoor activities and playing other types of games with their peers.

As a result

, after a while, they will experience isolation and will not become sociable. In terms of educational aspects, smartphones are becoming a device by which

children

cringe away from their studies and homework.

In addition

, spending hours on

phones

will threaten their physical and mental health,

such

as poor eyesight and depression. In a nutshell, there are plenty of measures causing

children

to use their

phones

for prolonged hours which I strongly believe that it is highly harmful for the young generation.

Submitted by z.rezayi1999 on Sun Jan 15 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries today, many people decide to have their first child when they are older. Why? Is it a positive or negative phenomenon?

Some people believe that after the child begins his/her schooling their teachers will have more influence than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?