IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

n the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

#n #people #hobby #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, people do shopping as a hobby rather than for domestic purposes in the past. In my opinion, individuals prefer going out shopping to calm their minds and unburden themselves to get rid of daily routines.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the past decades, there were not many options to buy in the market.
However
Linking Words
, due to the advancements in items and technology
such
Linking Words
 internet, it is easier and
also
Linking Words
 inexpensive to purchase a variety of products which pushes us to buy new things
although
Linking Words
 we do not need them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by the end of the 20th century, economic developments were relatively slow.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people had to save money and invest in education or immovable properties
such
Linking Words
 as houses and landscapes.
By contrast
Linking Words
, today, being owned a house is not impossible because of the well-developed labour market for career opportunities and alternative methods for buying a flat by means of a mortgage which led us to spend more money.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many think that going to shopping malls or buying unnecessary items is a type of leisure activity.
In other words
Linking Words
, spending money on clothes, shoes or food gives us joy in life and
also
Linking Words
 helps to clear the mind.
For example
Linking Words
, If I feel stressed, I go to a local shopping centre to buy new clothes which makes me motivated and satisfied.
In addition
Linking Words
, people need to spoil themselves by going out to eat, dressing up or buying the latest technology smartphone,
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 there is no point in being hard working and landing a good job. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 these days many prefer doing shopping regardless of our needs, shopping has an important value in our lives to calm our minds and have a sense of joy.
Submitted by ediz07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: