IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some human rights advocates believe there should be free migration throughtout the world. what would be the result of anybody being able to go anywhere.

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Should
people
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 be allowed to migrate anywhere without restrictions?
While
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 it is said that it should be the fundamental right of
people
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 to migrate to different nations as it contributes to fostering economic progress and better supporting underprivileged
people
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;
however
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, there are immense negative challenges which may be faced by native
people
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.
This
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 essay will explore the positive and potential long-term consequences of unrestricted migration. The most significant positive aspects of unrestricted immigration can be related to economic growth, as it allows countries to fill the labour shortages and address the skill gap. The more
people
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 migrate, the lesser the skill gap between sustainable industries, by offering sustainable employment for a rewarding career for low-income
people
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. Unless Canada or Germany offered a wide range of career options, there would be a lack of professionals in healthcare, skill jobs and construction,
for instance
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.
Additionally
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, if low-income individuals do not migrate to developed nations in search of better career opportunities, it would be difficult for them to manage their daily expenses,
as a result
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, they might struggle to afford basic necessities.
In contrast
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 to the negative side, it is important to note that, the more the country becomes diverse, the more cultural differences there will be which can generate cultural challenges. If governments fail to regulate migration properly, social tensions may arise, distressing governments to provide an adequate amount of services. Unless governments implement strict regulations and limit the number of individuals to enter,
people
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 will face more conflicts and misunderstandings of various cultural identities, leading to confusion among native residents and immigrants. In conclusion,
although
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 unrestricted immigration brings certain advantages, it is vital to think about the consequences of unlimited immigrants.

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task achievement
Ensure the essay addresses all parts of the question comprehensively. Expand further on the negative points of unrestricted immigration to balance the argument.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure of the essay by providing clear explanations and transitions between ideas. Each paragraph should directly relate to the overall argument.
task achievement
Offer more specific examples or case studies to enhance the argument and demonstrate understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a well-structured introduction and conclusion, sticking to the main points throughout the essay.
task achievement
Good attempt at presenting the positive side of unrestricted migration with a focus on economic benefits.
task achievement
Using examples such as Canada and Germany to illustrate your point about labor shortages and skill gaps provides credibility to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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