Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work. Schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extend do you agree?

In today's society, many argue that schools should introduce
work
experience
for
teenagers
alongside their academic studies.
While
I believe there are clear benefits to
this
idea, I
also
think there are some challenges that need to be considered. First of all,
work
experience
can help
students
understand what it is like to have a job.
Teenagers
often don’t have a clear idea of what
work
involves or what skills are needed in the workplace. By spending time in a job, they can gain important practical knowledge and develop skills
such
as teamwork, communication, and responsibility.
For example
, a student working in a café might learn how to interact with customers and manage their time efficiently, which are valuable life skills.
Additionally
,
work
experience
can help
students
make better career choices. Many young people are unsure about their future careers, and working for a short period can give them insight into different jobs.
This
experience
might help them decide what they want to study
further
or what type of
work
they enjoy.
For instance
, a student who works in an office might realize they prefer more creative jobs, which can guide their future decisions.
However
, there are some potential downsides to
this
approach. One concern is that adding
work
experience
to a student’s schedule could increase pressure and stress.
Teenagers
are already balancing schoolwork, exams, and personal life. Introducing
work
might overwhelm some
students
, especially if they have to manage both academic and job responsibilities. Schools would need to ensure that the time spent working does not negatively impact
students
' academic performance. In conclusion, I agree that offering
work
experience
to
teenagers
could be beneficial in helping them understand the world of
work
and make informed career choices.
However
, schools should carefully consider how to balance
this
with academic studies to avoid putting too much pressure on
students
.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using more linking words and phrases to enhance the overall flow.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear and comprehensive, you can further develop and elaborate on each main point. Provide more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the benefits and challenges of incorporating work experience into school curricula.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your points, making your arguments more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear starting and ending point for your arguments.

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