IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Tendency for human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tendency #beings #copy #popularity #fashion #clothes #consumer #goods
In
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
show examples
 epoch, it is deemed by a section of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society that it has become
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
eminent among individuals to initiate
others
 in terms of fashionable clothes and purchasing different types of consumer items. Personally, I firmly accord with
this
 notion as I consider that there are several reasons that give a rise to
this
 phenomenon, which will be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
show examples
 the looming sections of writing. Embarking
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the causative factors that lead to
this
trend
, the predominant point is to boost their personality as most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings give preference to purchase branded garments to mimic their favourite TV icons to look attractive. To cite a relevant example,
according to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a report published by the tribune reveals that approximately 45% of people particularly youngsters opt to buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clothes that are in
trend
 to look beautiful or handsome just owing to the influence of social media stars.
As a result
, it is the obvious reason behind
this
trend
.
Further
 elaborating, advertisements are
also
 responsible for
this
 since multifarious companies choose to promote their commodities by hiring famous celebrities to increase their revenue, due to which more and more ordinary people allure towards them and they like to possess that merchandise which they see on television just to mimic
others
. For an instance, in certain nations, especially in the United Kingdom and India, copious people, not only
youngones
Correct your spelling
young ones
 but
also
 children as well as elder residents prefer to copy
others
 because of an increasing
trend
 of adverts.
Consequently
,
influence
Add an article
the influence
show examples
 of
commericals
Correct your spelling
commercials
 is
also
 another factor that
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
 to
this
trend
 of tendency.
Locanically
Correct your spelling
Technically
, it is irrefutable that
mimicing
Correct your spelling
mimicking
others
 in wearing clothes and buying other products
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 attained popularity
amidst
Change preposition
among
show examples
 individuals just to look attractive and influence
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social media and adverts.
Submitted by baljindersamra29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: