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Band 6

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour
These days, the amount of brutality in publishing is growing. While some
people
 argue that
this
 trend will undoubtedly lead humans to a dangerous future, others claim that it has no damaging effect on society. I believe that in most cases
media
violence
 doesn't affect
people
's behaviour.
Firstly
, I think that
people
 act on their motives, regardless of what they see on
television
.
That is
 to say, if someone intends to do harm to somebody,
that is
 not because of watching TV or playing computer games
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but due to that person's character and education.
Although
 it is generally considered that violent
media
 accustoms viewers to cruelty, I doubt
this
 opinion. In my view, reasonable and intelligent
people
 treat others humanely irrespective of what they see or hear in fictional stories.
Moreover
, video games and
television
 may even reduce social
violence
 by providing a safe outlet for aggressiveness.
In other words
, truculent
people
 may fight in virtual reality
instead
 of evincing their combative spirit in the real world.
This
 may not only help those
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 reduce the level of social
violence
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long-term perspective.
Finally
, despite many claims and assumptions about the negative effects of
television
 and computer ,games I have never seen any proven connection between violent
media
 and illegal activities in social life. Taking everything into consideration, I would say that
violence
 in contemporary
media
 has no substantial influence on
people
's behaviour.
Television
 and computers are not the main factors that shape personal character, and they can even be useful in reducing the level of
violence
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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