IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that mobiel phones are harmful for children while others disagree. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #mobiel #phones #children
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It is argued that mobile phones, in
children
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’s hands, can damage their development.
Children
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 who were aiding on
smartphones
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 will somehow benefit from restrictions, but it may concern that, as you utilize the gadget the more you see how it affects you.
This
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 essay tends to agree with the usage of
smartphones
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 by
children
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 has a positive benefit for their development with restrictions to their digital phones. Admittedly, mobile phones play a huge role for
children
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 who were insisted on them for educational purposes.
For instance
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, some apps suggested by university professors or healthcare apps will help the kid with his self-care routine, tackle all the difficulties by himself by reading some books or articles, and maintain a journal which will help him a fresh start for his morning with a set of goals.
Although
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, the usage of
smartphones
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 should be within their limits will lead to a better life for kid growth. There may be other possibilities with adopting a cellphone, which can damage
kids
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’ overall health. To some extent, for
kids
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 who were aiding with a smartphone over a period, the blue light rays emitted by the screen will cause serious issues to their sensible face, and too much stressing out the eyes will cause dark circles under their eyes.
This
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 is an inevitable consequence of attaching to
smartphones
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 without any communication from the real world.
For instance
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, for
kids
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 who are communicating only through chatting for months, or years, what if they got a situation where they need to interact with themselves in real-time, should they convey each other thoughts as they do In chatting? If it was left like
this
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,
kids
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 can end up with no social skills, it’s painful to see them with no skills as age goes up. By and large, observing the possible outcomes for
children
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 using
smartphones
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, and arguments over its drawbacks. The most significant aspect of
this
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 issue is,
kids
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 should set some limits to their usage of
smartphones
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 per day in order to gain some skills.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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