Today more and more people are using mobile phones and computers. Thus, people are losing the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Someone
Correct your spelling
Some
show examples
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
that
people
are losing the ability to communicate face to face since they are using mobile
phones
and computers more than the in past. I would argue that I disagree with
this
statement, and my opinions will be discussed for the following reasons. Nowadays, there are more methods of communication available, especially mobile
phones
and computers.
Although
individuals utilize more these new technologies, they are still can see each other
while
talking.
Similarly
, talking to each other in person,
people
can see faces
while
speaking to their families or friends by using cell
phones
.
For instance
, they can video call or FaceTime.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
they can use applications
such
as Zoom, Microsoft Teams and Skype to call whomever they desire to see faces and talk to.
Therefore
, I disagree that
people
can communicate face-to-face less when they use either their mobile
phones
or computers.
In addition
, unlike in the past, individuals are currently able to get closer without waiting for a long time to receive letters from their families, relatives, friends or customers. These days
people
not only interface faster, but they can
also
get closer since they manipulate either smart gadgets or laptops.
Hence
new technologies provide more conveniences for long-distance communication.
As a result
of the availability of these types of devices, all of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
can connect and see faces even though they live far away from each other.
Consequently
, I do believe that
people
still can reach out better with
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
type of hi-tech equipment. In conclusion, new technologies, e.g. iPhone, iPad or MacBook,
are not only be
Change the verb form
are not only
show examples
alternatives for individuals to contact
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other, but they
additionally
help communities to connect better. With
helping
Wrong verb form
the help
show examples
of these devices,
people
can see and keep in touch
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
other
easier
Correct word choice
more easily
show examples
.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
they can have many options to connect to anyone regardless of how far they stay from each other.
Thus
, I disagree that
people
are losing the ability to communicate face-to-face by using highly technological appliances, but
actually
Add a comma
actually,
show examples
they have more abilities to connect and see each other because of using these devices.
Submitted by vollesunita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and cohesion
Be cautious of repeating the same points or examples multiple times. Instead, aim for a diverse range of supporting examples and arguments to strengthen the coherence and relevance of your essay.
Task Response
Ensure that your essay directly responds to the prompt by clearly stating your level of agreement or disagreement and supporting your position with specific examples and arguments. Also, strive to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue by addressing any potential counterarguments.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • interpersonal skills
  • overreliance
  • digital communication platforms
  • convenience
  • efficiency
  • social bonds
  • enhance
  • bridging long distances
  • fostering connections
  • age groups
  • adept
  • integrating
  • landscape
  • emotional intelligence
  • nuances
  • striking a balance
  • limitations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: