Some people think that technological development have positively affected the say we live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Modern technological developments have considerably contributed to human civilisation. I strongly disagree with
this
allegation because it has
also
endangered the
environment
, and some of the developments,
such
as nuclear weapons, severely and consistently threaten our lives. The amelioration of technologies for the past 200 years has often corresponded with the destruction of the
environment
and, by extension, the earth.
That is
to say, human beings have obtained a technological breakthrough by cutting down a large number of trees, extracting minerals, and other behaviours. The usage of petrol, primarily
due to
the invention of the automobile, is
also
responsible for the enormous amount of CO2 emission, which inevitably damages the
environment
.
For instance
, scores of intellectuals are concerned that the current unsustainable development may cause irreversible damage to nature, rendering the earth inhabitable in the near future.
Also
, several technological inventions, namely nuclear weapons, are arguably a peril to our society. As abhorrent records in Hiroshima and Nagasaki denote, the destruction caused by the bombs not only annihilated thousands of citizens but
also
entailed diseases related to radiation.
This
acute threat is still omnipresent in the international system.
For example
, the number of those weapons currently exceeds 5000, which can easily generate enough magnitude to destroy our civilisation multiple times. I firmly disagree with the statement asserting that recent technological improvements have positively affected our lives.
This
is
due to
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
fact that technologies we utilise to maintain our society are mostly established upon the sacrifice of the
environment
.
Also
, a few of the technological products have been constant threats to our survival.
Submitted by 20dm056e on

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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, consider adding a few more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you use formal language consistently. Phrases like 'scores of intellectuals' can be replaced with more formal alternatives.
coherence cohesion
Double-check for minor grammatical issues and ensure that all your sentences are clear and precise.
task achievement
You have effectively used examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure that enhances the readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well articulated and contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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