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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

High Rise building - advantage/disadvantage These days more people prefer to live in vertical buildings. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the people?

#rise #advantage #people #buildings
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Nowadays, everyone prefers to live in vertical
buildings
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instead
Linking Words
 of building their own
land
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 houses. As it is known,
land
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 prices in cities have always been increasing over the years as the population increases simultaneously which causes the availability of
land
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.
However
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 , there are a few
advantages
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 and disadvantages when we decide to live in high-rise
buildings
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. A comprehensive analysis below would explain them.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 who live in
vertical
Add an article
the vertical
show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 have a few
advantages
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.
For example
Linking Words
, they tend to be
more happy
Replace the words
happier
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 because they have a chance to see an incredible view
in
Change preposition
from
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 the height.
In addition
Linking Words
, they contribute to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
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land
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 prices as the
high rise
Add a hyphen
high-rise
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buildings
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 require less
land
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 area than
land
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 houses needed.
Therefore
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, we should encourage
people
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 to live more in vertical
buildings
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 due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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advantages
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.
In addition
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, it has a few disadvantages.
For instance
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, they are
who
Correct pronoun usage
those
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living
Wrong verb form
live
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 in vertical
buildings
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more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 likely take a long time to get out if an earthquake occurs due to its height.
Moreover
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, if its elevators are under repair, they have to use stairs which for certain
people
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 is not an easy thing to use
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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from
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 level to the ground.
Hence
Linking Words
, we should find a solution for these problems. To summarise, there are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advantages
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 and disadvantages for
people
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 who prefer to live in vertical
buildings
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. All of those things are very
depend
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on our own personal needs and interests. I suggest
people
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to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
do
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
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 considerations before they live in high-rise
buildings
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by fernindito.app on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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