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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about the responsibility of shaping kids into good citizens. Some people believe home is the best place to learn
the
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attitudes and morals,
while
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 others argue school is the better place for it.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my personal thought that
parents
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 are the most responsible side for
this
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 aspect. A major advantage
why
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of why
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parents
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 are better positioned in guiding moral values is that they are a child’s first and influential teachers. From an early age,
children
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 are good at imitating their parent’s behaviours.
This
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 daily exposure allows
parents
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 to lead by example, whether it is for greeting people, respecting others, and being honest.
For instance
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, in Japan,
children
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 usually watch their
parents
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 show respect and greet
to
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the elderly, they are more likely to adopt the same actions.
Hence
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, the home environment plays a crucial role in shaping
children
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 to become a responsible part of society.
On the other hand
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, schools are essential for guiding
children
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 on how to behave appropriately. School is designed as a formal institution to build
the
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social values like discipline, respect and cooperation.
Additionally
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,
children
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 can learn and practice at the same time with their colleagues and tutors.
For example
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, in a team project, they can learn how to share their opinions and listen respectfully to others.
Moreover
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,
this
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 kind of practice is important to build empathy and to be cooperative in their environment. In summary, both home and school environments are vital for a child’s social and educational development.
However
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, in my view, parenting plays a more significant role in shaping a child’s character, as it lays the foundation for their behaviour from an early age.

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to make connections between ideas smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing some sentences for more clarity and variety in sentence structure.
coherence and cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that outlines the writer's position.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support main points, particularly regarding cultural references.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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