The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future

The

healthcare

system is a modern trend that nations are extremely concerned about. there are some statements said that a lot of

people

believe that

health

is more important to their lives rather than others, while the mean standard of

people

health

is continuously taking a nosedive. In my opinion, I completely agree with

this

argument.

This

essay will represent what are the factors that cause

people

to become unhealthy

people

. Because of stress and workload hard increasingly affect society, especially mental

health

. These days, employees do not have sufficient time for escaping their work. When they come to work, they will face up with various problems and diverse arguments that they have to solve on it so they have not been able to stop thinking about that issue and it impacts their mental

health

for instance

Thus

, mental

health

is the one of causes related to

people

health

reduction.

Furthermore

, paying for expensive treatment is not appropriate for everyone in communities.The government does not establish a reduction costs for

healthcare

policy in order to make the public can easily access therapy,

although

medical devices

also

have high technology and give more opportunities to release pain from any disease.

For example

, while some hospitals have PET-CT Scan devices that make neuro-surgeons easy

diagnose

Replace the word

diagnosis

show examples

, surgical navigation, and surgical planning, the number of neuro-patient death become slightly increasing because of insufficient financial support for the treatment.

Therefore

, monetary is crucial for the

healthcare

system in order to increase the standard of

people

health

. In conclusion,

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

problem is the main issue that authorities and nations must focus on it.

This

essay represented two factors that become the reason why

this

crisis occurs including hard work and supporting some finance. In my suggestion,

this

is the main responsible of the government to make

people

can access the

healthcare

system.

Submitted by kamolivia13081999 on Mon Jan 16 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Standard of health
2. Average
3. Lower
4. Future
5. Aging population
6. Chronic diseases
7. Sedentary lifestyle
8. Lack of exercise
9. Poor dietary habits
10. Environmental pollution
11. Technological advancements
12. Impact on health

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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase.Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your letter.give details of the purchase,describe the problem ,explain why you need a replacement urgently.

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society ? How can this problem be resolved?

The plans show the layout of the university’s sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment.