IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
some
people
 believe that in
future
Add an article
a future
show examples
 generation will choose to
travel
 on
holiday
 in their
country
 rather than
travel
 to abroad. I completely disagree with
these Statement
Change the determiner
this Statement
these statements
show examples
 because nowadays the globalization world often moves for word. To commence with, nowadays
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
 industry has been increasing due to globalization.
Therefore
, many countries introduce
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 attractive tourism
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
.
For instance
, Dubai often
build
Change the verb form
builds
show examples
, many attractive
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
such
 as
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
 highest building, flower gardens and water
advanture
Correct your spelling
adventure
 parks.
Therefore
, they often published to
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 what they have through
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 because they have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 marketing system. Due to that fact,
people
 often
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
give priority
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that option.
Moreover
, some
people
 keen to taste
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of cuisine and would
be get
Change the verb form
be getting
show examples
 experience with
traval
Correct your spelling
travel
 to
abrod
Correct your spelling
abroad
.
Furethermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, some
people
to
Correct your spelling
so
show examples
 keen to get
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of weather
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
.
For example
, many Europian
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 South Asian
Country
Fix the agreement mistake
Countries
show examples
 due to get hot weather. Because in December they have winter Season and many are Europ nation dislike to spend
holiday
Add an article
a holiday
the holiday
show examples
 in their
country
.
Otherwise
, when they are choosing to
traval
Correct your spelling
travel
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
country
 they would
be get
Change the verb form
be getting
show examples
 more
holiday
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 rather than in their own countries.
Becaus
Correct your spelling
Because
 when they could get more money while their exchange with development
country
 money they would
be expend
Change the verb form
be expending
show examples
 more money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 relaxation. Due to that
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 they often
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
travel
 abroad for
holiday
. In conclusion, I believed that both domestic and international
travel
 will give a different experience and the future
people
travel
 abroad for enjoying a
holiday
 rather than decide to visit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their own countries.
Submitted by asankabiz84 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
What to do next:
Look at other essays: