IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

"Deforestation is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes and effects of deforestation?

#deforestation #world #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are a lot of cases in our
life
Use synonyms
 when
people
Use synonyms
 who failed at school became really
successfulin
Correct your spelling
successful in
 their adulthood. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe, that it's just random, but other
people
Use synonyms
 including me don'
t
Use synonyms
 agree. I can understand the
first
Linking Words
 group. Because your
marks
Use synonyms
 often can show your knowledge and your chances in
life
Use synonyms
. If you get good
marks
Use synonyms
 you can go to a good university. And, usually, that means that you will become an educated and rich person. The
second
Linking Words
 group doesn'
t
Use synonyms
 agree. They are sure, that
marks
Use synonyms
 aren'
t
Use synonyms
 really important for your adulthood. There are a lot of examples of when a person without a good education becomes rich and succeeds in
life
Use synonyms
. Sometimes they have rich parents or special talents, but, usually, they just want to achieve more in their lives. And I think that it's more important. But we don'
t
Use synonyms
 hear about
people
Use synonyms
, who have achieved nothing because they are not famous. There are a lot of clever
people
Use synonyms
 which would have preferred to become successful but haven'
t
Use synonyms
. And
that is
Linking Words
 why in my opinion you need to be really lucky to become successful without working. But most
people
Use synonyms
 aren'
t
Use synonyms
 so lucky. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 I'm sure that you don'
t
Use synonyms
 have to understand all your school subjects to become successful.
Usually
Add a comma
,Usually
show examples
 you need to choose your own area, where you feel comfortable and interested. Overall, it's really difficult to become a successful person, and, usually, it's tied only
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your luck and your talents. So, I'm sure that
marks
Use synonyms
 aren'
t
Use synonyms
 so important for your adult
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by azlivingma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: