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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children
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Nowadays one of the most problems that face our world is
children
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's
obesity
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. States have a big responsibility for the increase in overweight
children
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 or it's the responsibility of
parents
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. In my opinion, I believe that
children
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's families are in charge to control their kid's lifestyles.
Firstly
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,
parents
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 are the principal responsible for
kids
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 according to the law, that's why they need to establish a healthy diet for them .
For example
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, in my childhood, my
parents
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 were very strict with me to eat healthy food and practicing sports even though I didn't like those kinds of meals.
Moreover
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, folks' homes need to be the perfect example for their
kids
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 because youngster always imitates their
parents
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.
Secondly
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, mothers need to cook balanced food at home and avoid fast food because that will make their
kids
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 love to eat at home.
In addition
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, they need to have some creative ideas that will make youngsters excited to eat it
such
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 as, designing meals like the favourite cartons or superheroes, and adding some colourful fruits.
in addition
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,
parents
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 should practise sports with their
children
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 to avoid
obesity
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 problems and establish a healthy lifestyle for
kids
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. A study published in the new york Times showed that 80% of families who practice sports at weekends with their
kids
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 are not facing
obesity
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 problems for them and for
kids
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. in conclusion, I disagreed that government is responsible for
kids
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'
obesity
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.
In contrast
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, I believe that
parents
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 are in charge of their kid's lifestyles and healthy
however
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 government should make people aware of the
obesity
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 problem.
Submitted by youssef.chamekh98 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • policies
  • responsibility
  • health and well-being
  • education and awareness programs
  • childhood obesity
  • food advertising and labeling
  • unhealthy food
  • supportive environments
  • recreational facilities
  • collaboration
  • healthcare providers
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