IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that newspapers are the best media to learn and get information from while others believe that the internet is a better source. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, everyone easily learns and gets
information
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 in many ways. Some argue that
newspapers
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 are the best choice to learn and get
information
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while
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 others believe that the
internet
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 is much better than that. In
this
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 essay, I will look at both views and give my opinion. Some people feel that
newspapers
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 are the best
media
Fix the agreement mistake
medium
show examples
 to learn and get
information
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. It provides us
bunch
Add an article
a bunch
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 of
information
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 in a compact and light form.
For instance
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, we can look at many insightful articles and
also
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 read some news in only
one
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 place.
Therefore
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,
newspapers
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 are still
one
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 of the best ways to learn and get
information
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.
On the other hand
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, others think that the
internet
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 is the better
one
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. We can learn and access any
information
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 that we are looking for without any physical limitations like
newspapers
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, we can find an online learning site or news portals as many as we want, not depending on the number of its pages like
newspapers
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.
Hence
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, the
internet
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 is considered a better source
due to
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 it doesn’t have any physical limitations. In my opinion, the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is the best way to learn and get
information
Use synonyms
 because it gives you a piece of real-time
information
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 without any delay,
one
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 thing that
newspapers
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 cannot do. To illustrate, if I live in Indonesia, I can quickly know what’s happening in the United States in a real-time way with the
internet
Use synonyms
.
This
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 shows how important the
internet
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 is in today’s life.
To conclude
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,
newspapers
Use synonyms
 are still
one
Use synonyms
 of the best ways to learn and get
information
Use synonyms
due to
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 their compact and light form.
In addition
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, the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is much better than
outweigh
Verb problem
apply
show examples
newspapers
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 in many aspects in terms of physical limitations and flexibility.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction could be clearer by outlining the main arguments that will be discussed. A more structured thesis statement would help guide the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some sentences could be revised for clarity. For example, "provides us a bunch of information" could be changed to "provides us with a wide range of information."
Task Achievement
Consider using more specific examples to support your points. You mentioned online learning sites, but naming a few would strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
The conclusion reiterates the main points but could be more decisive about your opinion on the matter. Try to emphasize why you believe the internet is superior to newspapers.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the key points well and re-emphasizes your opinion, which is essential in a discursive essay.
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