I.Currently, an increasing number of people compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems do this cause? What are the possible solutions for this?

#people #jobs

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Recently, heightened competition between

age

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groups for jobs has led to the early retirement of capable senior

employees

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and the demoralization of younger

job

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seekers. To mitigate these issues, creating mentoring roles for older

workers

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and implementing systems to provide information on current

job

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distributions are effective strategies.

First,

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intense

job

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market competition leads to the underutilization of skilled senior

workers

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and potential young

employees

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, demotivating young

job

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seekers. Early retirements among capable senior

workers

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are increasing because of insufficient

job

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openings for

this

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age

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group, which demotivates young people, as they see senior

workers

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retiring solely based on

age

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For instance

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, in Japanese IT companies, lifetime employment often forces companies to choose between early retirement or promotion for senior

employees

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reaching a certain

age

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. These decisions are typically not based on clear standards, resulting in the premature departure of valuable

workers

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, which demotivates younger

employees

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who witness the unjust

job

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losses of their superiors.

Second,

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these issues arise

due to

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a shortage of positions to accommodate

workers

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;

thus

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, new roles should be created, particularly those focused on educating and training junior

employees

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Additionally

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, providing young undergraduates with accurate

job

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distribution data and government-backed

job

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assurances before they enter the

job

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market would positively impact various companies and

workers

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across generations.

For example

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whereas

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Indian system engineers are globally recognized for their skills, few work in Japan despite the growing demand for system engineers there. Advertising

job

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offers internationally will help skilled engineers secure employment.

Finally

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, in conclusion,

although

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there are many

job

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losers and

job

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refugees because of severe

job

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-achieving competition, these problems can be solved by the education system for fresh

workers

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and proper advertisement for

job

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seekers in the future.

Submitted by kana_ayaki on Wed Sep 04 2024

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task achievement

You have provided a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the problems and possible solutions effectively. However, ensure that each idea is consistently developed with more specific examples to strengthen your argument further.

coherence cohesion

While the essay follows a logical structure, more explicit topic sentences and clear transitions between paragraphs will enhance coherence. This will ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.

coherence cohesion

Your essay does a good job of presenting a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.

task achievement

You have effectively supported your main points with relevant examples, particularly the references to Japanese and Indian job markets.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

7.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Personal fulfillment
Unfulfilling job
Mental health
Physical health
Financial stability
Job security
Societal norms
Career choices
Pursuing passion
Practicality
Personal growth
Skill development
Self-esteem
Social status
Work-life balance

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I.Currently, an increasing number of people compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems do this cause? What are the possible solutions for this?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

The funds for postgraduate research are limited; therefore some people think that the government should provide financial support. In their opinion, only scientific research should be funded, rather than other less useful subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today food travel thousand of mile from farmers to consumers. Why is it so? It is a positive or negative development?

It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication to what extent do you agree or disagree.

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country., while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and giye your opinion.