Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children

It became a globally discussed issue that

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

have a big responsibility for the increase in overweight children. I totally disagree with

this

idea and in the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss my point of view.

To begin

parents

are the principal responsible for

kids

according to the law, that's why they need to establish a healthy diet for them .

For example

, in my childhood, my

parents

were very strict with me to eat healthy food and practicing sports even though I didn't like those kinds of meals.

Moreover

, folks' homes need to be the perfect example for their

kids

because youngster always imitates their

parents

Furthermore

, mothers need to cook balanced food at home and avoid fast food because that will make their

kids

love to eat at home.

In addition

, they need to have some creative ideas that will make youngsters excited to eat it

such

as, designing meals like the favourite cartons or superheroes, and adding some colourful fruits.

in addition

parents

should practise sports with their children to avoid

obesity

problems and establish a healthy lifestyle for

kids

. A study published in the new york Times showed that 80% of families who practice sports at weekends with their

kids

are not facing

obesity

problems for them and for

kids

. in conclusion, I disagreed that government is responsible for

kids

obesity

In contrast

, I believe that

parents

are in charge of their kid's lifestyles and healthy

however

government should make people aware of the

obesity

problem end.

Submitted by youssef.chamekh98 on Mon Jan 16 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

policies
responsibility
health and well-being
education and awareness programs
childhood obesity
food advertising and labeling
unhealthy food
supportive environments
recreational facilities
collaboration
healthcare providers

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Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Today, some food travels thousands of miles from farms to consumers, Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people only eat local food. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the advantages?

Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people better education. Do you agree or disagree?

Fewer schools are requiring children to learn and improve their handwriting skills. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this trend?