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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children
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It became a globally discussed issue that
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 have a big responsibility for the increase in overweight children. I totally disagree with
this
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 idea and in the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss my point of view.
To begin
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,
parents
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 are the principal responsible for
kids
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 according to the law, that's why they need to establish a healthy diet for them .
For example
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, in my childhood, my
parents
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 were very strict with me to eat healthy food and practicing sports even though I didn't like those kinds of meals.
Moreover
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, folks' homes need to be the perfect example for their
kids
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 because youngster always imitates their
parents
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.
Furthermore
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, mothers need to cook balanced food at home and avoid fast food because that will make their
kids
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 love to eat at home.
In addition
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, they need to have some creative ideas that will make youngsters excited to eat it
such
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 as, designing meals like the favourite cartons or superheroes, and adding some colourful fruits.
in addition
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,
parents
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 should practise sports with their children to avoid
obesity
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 problems and establish a healthy lifestyle for
kids
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. A study published in the new york Times showed that 80% of families who practice sports at weekends with their
kids
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 are not facing
obesity
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 problems for them and for
kids
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. in conclusion, I disagreed that government is responsible for
kids
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'
obesity
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.
In contrast
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, I believe that
parents
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 are in charge of their kid's lifestyles and healthy
however
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 government should make people aware of the
obesity
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 problem end.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • policies
  • responsibility
  • health and well-being
  • education and awareness programs
  • childhood obesity
  • food advertising and labeling
  • unhealthy food
  • supportive environments
  • recreational facilities
  • collaboration
  • healthcare providers
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