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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#world #adults #home #children #study #technology #development
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It is becoming increasingly common to work or study from home since technology has become more accessible and affordable. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
this
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 situation is a positive development.
On the contrary
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, I believe that
this
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 trend could lead to various drawbacks for the following reasons. On the one hand, working remotely might be efficient yet it decreases physical social interaction between human beings. As a social creature, socialization plays a significant role in human life in order to survive.
Therefore
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, it is important for
people
Use synonyms
 to maintain their interaction with each other. Offices or schools are supposed to be places where the relation begins but when the situation is shifted, the public is not interacting in the same way anymore, which leads to a decrease in social skills.
Furthermore
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, the lack of social skills could be harmful for children since they are still in their developing age and socialization is important for their brain development.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who are working remotely could have a vulnerable body because there is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of physical activities.
For instance
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,
people
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 who work in offices more or less must perform some physical action since they need to travel from their houses to their workplaces. By staying at home, workers tend to sit in front of their computers and do not move at all.
This
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 circumstance causes several negative health conditions,
such
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 as scoliosis. The same thing goes for students. Students, either children or teenagers, are required to be active.
However
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, if they study from home, they are losing the experience of doing physical education or other
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
.
To sum up
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, the method of remote working or studying provides several drawbacks to the social and physical condition of employees or students.
Therefore
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, I remain convinced that
this
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 is a negative development.
Submitted by someonewhodwells on

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task achievement
Ensure that both sides of the argument are presented to fully address the question, as it asks whether you think it's a positive or negative development, and you should present relevant ideas for both sides before stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay has a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, consider utilizing a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to allow ideas to flow more naturally.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • e-learning
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • productivity
  • personalized learning
  • disciplined routine
  • interpersonal skills
  • cybersecurity
  • sustainability
  • work-life balance
  • physical disabilities
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