IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some think that teenagers should follow older people’s rules. Others think that it is natural for them to challenge what older people say. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#think #teenagers #people’s #rules #challenge #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are split opinions regarding
Use synonyms
rules
Correct article usage
the rules
show examples
 and regulations
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 older
people
Use synonyms
. It is believed
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
people
Use synonyms
 that youth should obey the
rules
Use synonyms
 and regulations
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
made by older
people
Use synonyms
; whereas, other
group
Change the wording
groups
show examples
 of thinkers opine that it is
habit
Add an article
a habit
show examples
 for
teenagers
Use synonyms
 to face what elder ones say.
However
Linking Words
, both have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
 and cons.
Therefore
Linking Words
, prior to my opinion, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
arguments will be elaborated adequately in the ensuing paragraphs. Discussing the former
view
Use synonyms
 of mentioned regard. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 belief is that older
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 have more Past experience.
This
Linking Words
 is because the ups and downs in life have been experienced by elder
people
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 they must be familiar with the different situations that younger
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 face today.
As a result
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
past experiences can be delivered to youth as a form of
rules
Use synonyms
. What is more, some
rules
Use synonyms
, which are made by older
people
Use synonyms
, protect our
culture
Use synonyms
 and traditions.
Due to the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 fact that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
present
teenagers
Use synonyms
 are going to adopt western
culture
Use synonyms
 or other
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
indicates that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 tended to
less
Add a missing verb
have less
show examples
 interest in their
culture
Use synonyms
. So, these
rules
Use synonyms
 and regulations help to connect with their own traditions.
For example
Linking Words
, in some areas
teenagers
Use synonyms
 follow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional clothes. Analyzing the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
latter
view
Use synonyms
, the foremost reason for
this
Linking Words
 inclination is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the changing trend in generation and change in steriothinker's behaviour. The reason is that presently the development in technology and change behaviour on the parents thinking. The adoption rate
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 western
culture
Use synonyms
 has increased rapidly among youth.
Consequntly
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, it is hard to follow older
people
Use synonyms
's
rules
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
teenagers
Use synonyms
 have some
indipendancy
Correct your spelling
independence
independency
 that
Add a missing verb
is recieved
show examples
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 by their parents, so youths typically like to do
they
Correct pronoun usage
what they
show examples
 want to do. To conclude and offer my position, I would confidently support
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the former
view
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 the latter
view
Use synonyms
. It is indeed
matter
Correct article usage
a matter
show examples
 of the
save
Correct your spelling
same
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
 and traditions.
Submitted by ckp14321432 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: