IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
Some people argue that it is much more beneficial to go on vacation nearby than go abroad somewhere when on holiday. I strongly disagree with
this
 statement as I believe that overseas trips offer plenty of tremendous
experience
 that cannot be faced in local vacations. Compared with domestic travelling, oversea
travel
 seems irreplaceable in terms of exotic
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 which only available at the place of origin,
for example
 , the folk music and operas will be exclusively presented locally,
such
 distinctive
culture
 shows are barely found in domestic
travel
.
Therefore
, a
home
 trip will not substitute for foreign travelling. Apart from
culture
, the differences in
weather
 will not be observed in a
home
travel
 ,
for instance
, tropical
weather
 drastically differs from desert
weather
 which results in the diversification of plants and animals.
Experience
 in various
weather
 and environment undoubtedly brings brand-new recognition of the world,
such
 recognition cannot be achieved easily in
home
 travelling,
thus
 travelling abroad will be the only option for those who
travel
 to retain more recognition of the world. In conclusion, the extraordinary
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
experience
 and diversification of the environment under various
weather
 undeniably add
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
joy
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 we never
experience
 at
home
. For
such
 reasons, it is crystal clear that
travel
 abroad will remain trending and the replacement of domestic travelling to
travel
 abroad will not be realized .
Submitted by rocky_dillak on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
What to do next:
Look at other essays: