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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The internet is viewed as an excellent means of communication by many. However, there are some who would argue that it is actually destroying our communication skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the modernized
world
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, there are various types of means by which
people
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 express themselves, and
one
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 of them is the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
Consequently
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, there are a few individuals who believe that online talking can damage communication skills. So, in the forthcoming, segments I will discuss both views and I will include my opinion as well. On the
one
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 hand, by using the
internet
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 anyone can communicate with their family or
relative
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relatives
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 no matter
wherever
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where
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 they are in the
world
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.
For instance
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, a father and mother can talk to his/her child studying abroad. There are a lot of platforms available on the
internet
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 by which
people
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 can voice talk or
can
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apply
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even do a video
such
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 as Facebook, Instagram, Skype and LinkedIn as well. A relative can
also
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 arrange a meeting with a boy/girl for marriage through online means.
Therefore
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, the
internet
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 is
one
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 of the best things to talk to anyone without hindrance even if that individual is sitting in
one
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 corner of the
world
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.
On the other hand
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, it is
also
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 harming
people
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's skills because he/she cannot talk in a real meeting.
For example
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, a person chatting on social media cannot convey his/her sentiments in a face-to-face meeting because talking on an online platform cannot share facial expressions and voice tones as well.
Also
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, numerous individuals are developing an introverted type of nature because he/she just want to stay in their comfort zone and
due to
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this
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 they will
lack
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fall
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 behind in
this
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world
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 as they will not be able to convey their thoughts.
Thus
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, talking over the
internet
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 can
people
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 left out of some abilities
such
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 as communication. In my opinion, the
internet
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 is the best thing for message conveying because it can benefit a business.
Moreover
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, a company can arrange meetings with a large number of individuals through
'ZOOM'
Correct article usage
the 'ZOOM'
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 platform available online and it is extremely cost-effective.
In addition
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, companies don't have to rent a hotel to teach new company policies to their employees which will
also
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 save a lot of time which can be used to grow the company to the next level.
Hence
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, the
internet
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 is viewed as
one
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 of the best means to convey messages.
To conclude
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, even though the
internet
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 is damaging
people
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's skills to express their feelings
but
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apply
show examples
its benefits are large in number as any parent can talk to his/her child studying abroad and it is extremely beneficial for numerous businesses.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on clearly structuring your introduction and conclusion to better outline your main points. Make sure each paragraph starts with a topic sentence that indicates what the paragraph will be about.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, while you mention how the internet helps communication, consider adding more specific scenarios or statistics to illustrate your points.
Task Achievement
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and sentence structure, as minor errors can distract from your ideas. Regular practice can help improve overall fluency and coherence.
Task Achievement
You've demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic and both viewpoints, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and aligns well with the preceding discussion, which shows good reflection on the subject.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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