IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. While others think it is a waste of money. What is your opinion on this?

#people #clothes #waste #money
in recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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, the majority think that having a good appearance is an important thing in life, but
for
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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minorities believe that
this
 activity is just a waste of salary. in my opinion, these statements
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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benefit
Change preposition
for
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each
community
. on the one hand, some
community
 believe that having
a
Change the article
the
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 best suit is one thing that
have
Change the verb form
has
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 a big impact
for
Change preposition
on
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 the personality, especially for some nation who work in a public area.
for example
, Nagita Slavina is the most popular artist in Indonesia, every single day she always shows in several programs
in
Change preposition
on
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 every
channels
Change to a singular noun
channel
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. she always looks gorgeous with different
clothes
 each
days
Change to a singular noun
day
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. in that case, she is doing
this
for
Change preposition
to
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make
Change the verb form
making
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 the look more
interest
Replace the word
interesting
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 in front of the viewers.
moreover
, she is following the trending fashion to boost the
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
.
on the other hand
, other people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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argue that buying more secondary stuff just wasting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
. depending on
this
 situation, the
community
 do not
using
Change the verb form
use
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 the
money
 for buying
the
Correct article usage
apply
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clothes
 and
jewellries
Correct your spelling
jewelries
jewelleries
.
as a result
, the
community
 just use the
money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
buy
Change the verb form
buying
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 other stuff that
important
Add a missing verb
are important
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 in life.
for instance
,
for
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apply
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the youth who
living
Change the form of the verb
live
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 far from
the
Change the word
their
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 parents will save a lot of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
 for buying a laptop to support their studies
that
Correct word choice
than
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 just buying
clothes
 to wear
one
Correct your spelling
once
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 or twice
in
Change preposition
apply
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a month. in a nutshell, for some people who has enough
money
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will buy the
clothes
 following
trending
Replace the word
trends
show examples
 in the world and has a positive impact to boost their
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
.
besides
 that,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some people who do not buy a lot of cloth usually use their
money
 to buy other things
such
 as
laptop
Add an article
a laptop
show examples
 to support their studies.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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