Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

In modern-day societies, the number of household appliances people use daily has increased, so the housework performed manually is less.
This
essay will discuss why is more advantageous for people to rely on machines
instead
of doing these chores with their hands.
Firstly
, the advent of technology has helped the public save valuable time because many tasks and procedures are automatic.
Therefore
, they can use these moments to perform different things, or they will have more leisure time.
For example
, in the past females usually were at home, rearing children and doing domestic chores, and it was so time-consuming that they could not have a vocation.
However
, now that they can program appliances to do the tasks, they can have a job and run their household efficiently. Another advantage of the automation of housework is the advent of manufacturing industries and scientific research. As the demand for high-end equipment that will alleviate the public of domestic duties has risen, more and more workers are occupied with finding ways to improve the existing machines and creating new ones that consumers did not even think they needed. Producing a new appliance is a complex procedure, in which plenty of professionals are involved,
for instance
, scientists, manufacturers, advertisers, and salesmen. These people work hard and try to provide innovative devices for consumers, so the industry is advancing. In conclusion, it is more common for society to rely on appliances for housework
instead
of using their hands.
This
essay illustrated the advantages of
this
development for humankind, namely time-saving and boosting the industry, and explained why they are more than the disadvantages.
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Task response: The essay provides a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. Make sure to address both sides of the argument in a balanced manner.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay demonstrates a basic logical structure and presents an introduction and conclusion. However, the support for main points could be improved by using more varied linking words and organizing the ideas more clearly within paragraphs.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Manual labor
  • Displacement
  • Homemaking skills
  • Technological advancements
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Resource depletion
  • Energy efficiency
  • Social dynamics
  • Operational understanding
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