Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle.Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays most

parents

Use synonyms

come across

children

Use synonyms

's health problems. I agree that the idea that

parents

Use synonyms

and

teachers

Use synonyms

are responsible for solving

this

Linking Words

type of problem. Improvement in our

life

Replace the word

living

show examples

standards leads to some issues.

First

Linking Words

and foremost fast food junk food and other

this

Linking Words

type of unhealthy food are extended and they become the main part of our life. Another reason

parents

Use synonyms

spend

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

most

time

Use synonyms

at work

thus

Linking Words

they don't have enough

time

Use synonyms

for preparing something.

That is

Linking Words

why people tend to buy ready meals or order something.

This

Linking Words

type of problem causes bad eating habits and

children

Use synonyms

addict to it.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, most

parents

Use synonyms

don't have enough

time

Use synonyms

for spending their

time

Use synonyms

with their

children

Use synonyms

. I mean that maybe they can do some activities or sports. Even walking in the park is enough to create some hobby in their

children

Use synonyms

That is

Linking Words

why young generations stay at home most

time

Use synonyms

watching tv and scrolling on the internet. So

firstly

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

have to correct their eating habits and living standards

then

Linking Words

they apply healthy lifestyle to their

children

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, youngers spend

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

most

time

Use synonyms

at school, at that

time

Use synonyms

they prefer to buy snacks which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

unhealthy. Other things most

teachers

Use synonyms

think that a lot of home task is good for improving

children

Use synonyms

's ability. On my view, they think a younger lifestyle if they spend all their

time

Use synonyms

on education actually is not a great thing. At

this

Linking Words

age not only they must be educated but

also

Linking Words

they may find their hobby,

improvement

Replace the word

improve

show examples

their skills or formulate a healthy lifestyle everything depends on

each-other

Correct your spelling

each other

show examples

. To sum up,

parents

Use synonyms

have to spend

most

Add an article

the most

show examples

time

Use synonyms

with their

children

Use synonyms

because they need to grow up in a great way

also

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

spend

most

Add an article

the most

show examples

time

Use synonyms

with

teachers

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

why

teachers

Use synonyms

have to

Linking Words

second

Add a missing verb

be second

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

for

children

Use synonyms

gulnaar.badalovaaTue Jan 17 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

306 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Education for young people is often considered a top priority in many countries. However, some argue that educating adults, especially those who are illiterate, is even more important and that governments should allocate more resources to adult education. In my view, both youth and adult education are equally essential, and governments should find a balance between the two.
6.5
band
The plans show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year.
This analytic report provides information pertaining to the changes likely to occur at South West Airport after next year's redevelopment.
6.5
band
Living in a house is more advantageous than living in an apartment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is an argument debate, whether house type of accommodation brings more benefits or flat across the globe. Some claim that living in an Inn has more benefits than quarters. I strongly agree with this statement because house habitat has more privacy and amenities do not share with others. This essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
6
band
Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it. How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.
Some views say that it is more effective to learn about foreign cultures through television shows and films instead of going directly to other countries. In my opinion, I suppose this statement is wrong in some aspects. And there are a few things that holidaymakers can explore beyond their homes that TV viewers cannot get by looking at the screen.
7
band
Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is argued that if the government provides more public transportation and lowers ticket prices, this will lead to a dramatic decrease in vehicle pollution in a city. I fully agree with the statement because I think using public transportation is one of the ways to improve environmental health.

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle.Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The plans show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year.

Living in a house is more advantageous than living in an apartment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?