Some traditional holidays(hula dancing,halloween) from dominant cultures have found their way to other local cultures where they have no roots. Does it have more positive or negative effect on society?
Some kinds of
holidays
which are conventional and long-established for special nations have been adopted by regional cultures where they have no origins. I personally believe that it has more drawbacks rather than advantages.
There are some reasons to consider it more advantageous. Firstly
, it may help to make strong networks between nations. These societies exchange their lifestyle,
and their modes of celebrations with the help of sharing the same Remove the comma
apply
holidays
. It leads to having information about different cultures and having more tenacious tolerance to bizarre celebrations. This
type of holiday can spread beyond the confines of the country. Although
they celebrate the same holiday and experience the same culture, each of them does that in a suitable way depending on the social, psychological and economic relationships of the population .
In spite of the desirable impacts, it consists of more unfavourable consequences which can cause destructive issues for the original owner of the holiday. In the light of the globalizing world, all traditional celebrations are trying to survive and keep their invaluable hallmarks by dominant nations. Yet, sharing the same culture with various countries distorts the essentials of holidays
because of the influences of local cultures. Unusual holidays
have intricate stages which have their own meaning and should be saved because it is the most necessary part of differing precious customs. Other populations celebrate these holidays
without the comprehension of the main idea of celebration and it can generate some misunderstandings which is far from the principal concept of celebration.
Despite the positive effects of sharing a similar culture with regional countries, I am inclined that it has more detrimental results on the population.Submitted by bhoswriting on
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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay clearly addresses the prompt by providing a balanced discussion of both positive and negative impacts of traditional holidays spreading to other cultures. Currently, the focus leans heavily towards the negative effects.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. The essay could benefit from real-world examples of holiday traditions being adopted by other cultures and the precise impact it has, whether positive or negative. This adds depth and clarity to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure overall. However, try to make transitions between paragraphs and sentences smoother. Signposting phrases such as 'firstly', 'in addition', 'on the other hand' can help guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although the introduction and conclusion are present, the thesis statement could be stated more clearly in the introduction, and the conclusion could more decisively reflect back on the thesis, summarizing the main points made.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.