Some people think that dangerous extreme sports such as rock climbing and skydiving should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #sports #rock

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Nowadays, a lot of people have turned to extreme sports

such

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as skydiving, rock climbing or zip lining in the deep valleys. There is a group of people that

argues

Correct subject-verb agreement

argue

show examples

such

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plays should be banned by the government for obvious safety reasons. I highly agree with

this

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view and shall discuss the same in the ensuing paragraphs.

To begin

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with, we can see more and more youth turning to

such

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sports, as these activities come with a sudden adrenalin boost leaving one feeling high and blood rushing to the brain. It

also

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helps a person keep fit as they need to be in perfect health to be able to perform these.

However

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, what these folks do not understand is,

there

Correct word choice

that there

show examples

is always a life-threatening risk

while

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performing these. Even a small miss, by a fraction, can result in life-changing consequences.

For example

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while

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skydiving, if the person is even late by 10 seconds time can land them into situations that could make them feel regretful or guilty.

On the other hand

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, these businesses solely depend on the safety pieces of equipment used by the organizers,

such

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as parachutes, harnesses, ropes and zip lines. When performing these activities one has to put their life online trusting the sturdiness and durability of the pieces of equipment being used. Even a minor defect in these can cause the life of a person. We can see multiple instances where people suffered from parachute failure or breakage of ropes or loosening of harness, resulting in endangering situations. In conclusion, it would be wise for the government to ban

such

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sports from being performed in the country, as no adrenalin rush or boost of energy is more valuable than one's life and future.

Therefore

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I strongly agree with

this

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viewpoint.

Submitted by jeetkacha13 on Tue Jan 17 2023

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task achievement

The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively outline the writer's position. However, the essay lacks a clear engagement with the opposing viewpoint and does not fully address the topic question.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is decent, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and could benefit from better linkers and transitions to improve coherence.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Some people think that dangerous extreme sports such as rock climbing and skydiving should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people think that the success of life is based on hard work and determination. Others, however, believe that there are more important factors, such as having money or a good appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic What are the advantages and disadvantages for locals who visit such places?

Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success? Do you think one factor is more important than others?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?