IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what change would you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

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nowadays, in university, pupils have to learn unnecessary subjects. if I could change one
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thing there absolutely remove that from their schedule in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will support my view with examples
firstly
Linking Words
, these subjects take a long
time
Use synonyms
 in the semester and it seems to waste student's
time
Use synonyms
therefore
Linking Words
 they can't focus on mandatory studies.
instead
Linking Words
 of that student would be in the lab and they would get experience.
for example
Linking Words
 when I was a student I had to pass some course that it was not important for the future
such
Linking Words
 as Islamic history
secondly
Linking Words
, crossing out some unnecessary study not only save
time
Use synonyms
moreover
Linking Words
 save money, a thing that everyone knows financial issues are important as well as
time
Use synonyms
,
in
Linking Words
addition
Add the comma(s)
,addition
show examples
 if we have financial issues we won't concentrate on studying correctly. many studies have shown that to conclude, the basis of my view is based on many reasons I make changes in some courses if I could.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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