IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a serious issue that the environment that surrounds
children
Use synonyms
 is becoming less comfortable today.
In other words
Linking Words
, the pressure imposed by adults intensifies in every aspect of
life
Use synonyms
 including education, society and commerce. I will examine some problems underlying
this
Linking Words
 trend and practical solutions to reduce their anxieties. It is undeniable fact that people tend to hold higher expectations for future generations in modern society.
For example
Linking Words
, many parents pressure their
children
Use synonyms
 to go to a prestigious school without considering their will. Because job opportunities are largely reliant on one's educational background, adults believe that graduating from a well-known school increases their chances to gain occupations with higher salaries. In fact,
this
Linking Words
 pressure increase with the stagnant economic situation where the unemployment rate is higher and people have a darker prospect for the future.
As a result
Linking Words
, many
children
Use synonyms
 suffer from physical and mental diseases because of too many tasks to handle in daily
life
Use synonyms
. In order to suppress their anxieties, adults should introduce more time to play to promote their happiness in
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can be done by schools embedding creative programs which allow pupils to hold festivals where they can play games and exhibit their original artworks to its curriculum. Through active participation in
such
Linking Words
 events,
children
Use synonyms
 are not only released from daily stress but
also
Linking Words
 improve various skills
such
Linking Words
 as creative thoughts, communication skills and leadership.
Therefore
Linking Words
, schools should provide flexible learning plans to protect their health and happiness. In conclusion, rising tensions in the current society are becoming a great concern because it has a damaging effect on the health of a child.
Thus
Linking Words
, schools should take primary responsibility for encouraging more entertaining activities to make them more comfortable in
life
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: